Yeah, you see that, I mean you, yourself and you, it is a random rant
What are you doing? To your life I mean. Look the fuck around you, everything about your life is fucking sad and everything around you is so fucking cheering. Every fucking one else is getting married, getting promoted, getting laid or just getting somewhere, you are trapped here. Here, a stalemate. Remember many many years ago when you still had a dream and you were ranting to people, "I feel old and bored now". Hey, how about now you fucking hypocrite? Karma is super real and you are now really old and really bored and really lonely.
You have a boyfriend, you think. He brings you to a company party and won't introduce you to anyone. He only admitted you are his girlfriend by sending you the one text, "I can't let anyone know my gf got banned for the game", yeah you are "gf ". G fucking F. See other couples kissing and hugging? You have to hesitate every time you want to hold his hand, hey, don't want to get rejected in front of people right?
Hey, why are you guys still together then? You DO NOT KNOW. Or, you DO NOT DARE. You don't dare look into the future seeing yourself all alone. You had been battling alone against the whole world for so long and that was horrible. Now you are battling the whole world and the evil thought of "am I someone's girlfriend or not", and surprisingly this not that bad. He will you hope. A hope that you can love. You can love. You can love even when your love is thrown down to the ground, stepped on, twisted and tortured, and you cry your heart out for that every day and night. You can still love.
You love him and you do not know whether he will love you back. He gives you hope.
Hey, I thought you love someone just to prove that you can love, no?
Just shut up and be a "gf". Or no, because he now only admits you guys are seeing each other. He doesn't even have a picture of you on his phone. Oh, he perhaps does, your nudes, the ones you asked him many times to delete.
Why girl why?
You have no idea. You masochistic pathetic fool.