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The 19 Different Stages You Live In The San Francisco House Hunt

The San Francisco housing apocalypse, where the room search is a "Hunger Games scenario", New York mag quotes.

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1. I-am-ready phase

The journey starts. Joy, pity, anger, stress...You type in your browser and...

2. Confident phase

You know you worth it. Someone will see the awesome you are and you will have a new nest.

3. Happy phase

You are the perfect fit for some places! It was not so hard as you thought.

4. No-way phase

Initial filter criteria for your hunt: neighborhood, number of roommates, personality of roommates, size of the room, furnished/unfurnished, price, utilities included, living room, pets, lease, sublet, number of bathrooms, transportation...

5. WTF phase

"Se renta cuarto" for $400 in Mission!!! Where's the catch?

6. In-your-dreams phase

Do you think I'm gonna pay $1,700 for that small half-closet room just because it is in Mission?

7. Euphoric phase

Oh yes! Definitely this is your place! House is nice, rent is affordable, roommates are in your vibe, a-plenty of restaurants, good transportation...

8. I-got-an-answer phase

Oh yes! I'm feeling Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'.

Oh yes! I'm feeling Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'.

9. Interrogation phase

This is when you feel like in a undercover game show made by the NSA. Questions about your aunt's panty size and surveys about your reaction if a rocket crashed in the living room.

10. I-can-do-it phase

Okay, you have been selected with 20 more people to see one house. You are great, you are better than them, you can get it.

11. Rejected phase

"Unfortunately, the room is already filled. Good luck with your search", euphemism of "you are not good enough for us".

"Unfortunately, the room is already filled. Good luck with your search", euphemism of "you are not good enough for us".

12. Angry phase

"You don't match our criteria. We're looking someone more _________. At least they are honest... but assholes.

13. Sad phase

No answer from the perfect fit.

14. Frustrated phase

No answers in general.

15. Take-it-easy phase

Poor need to rethink your strategy.

16. Less-filters phase

Maybe, yes, no, yes, yes, no, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe...

17. No-filters phase

"Let's see in this area"..."Maybe utilities not included"..."Doesn't care 200 bucks more"..."It's ok no living room"..."It's not so small"..."Dogs don't bother me"...

18. Massive-mailing phase

BCC. Standard profile description. Send.

19. I-got-it phase

Yes! After 4-6 weeks, you got it! Maybe you lost some hair in the process, but it will grow in the next 6-12 months until you play again this "Hunger Games". You are exhausted and moving weekend ahead.

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