1. "You Like What Team?"
2. "Why Do You Like Them if They Always Lose?"
3. "Well I Only Like This Team Because of the Attractive Guys"
4. "Honestly I Don't Think I Could Root for a Team that Always Loses"
5. "Are There Even Attractive Players on the Team?"
6. "Their Uniforms are Hideous, How Can You Like a Team with Hideous Uniforms?"
7. "Honestly If I Were You I Would Just Root For a Team That Actually Wins"
8. "Are You the Only Fan Where You Live?"
9. "$20 They're Going to be Bad Again This Year"
10. "Is it Hard Watching Your Team Lose So Often?"
11. "Just Root for a Popular Team This Year"
And You Find Yourself Before Every Season Chanting This to Yourself:
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