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Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

Let's see how you ~measure up~.

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  1. How old were you when you got your first boner?

    Christian J. Stewart / Getty Images
    10 or younger
    11
    12
    13
    14
    15 or older

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How old were you when you got your first boner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    10 or younger
  2.  
    vote votes
    11
  3.  
    vote votes
    12
  4.  
    vote votes
    13
  5.  
    vote votes
    14
  6.  
    vote votes
    15 or older
  1. How many boners do you get in a day?

    Unicode / Eater
    None
    1–3
    4–6
    7–9
    I'm actually hard all day — that's normal, right?

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How many boners do you get in a day?
  1.  
    vote votes
    None
  2.  
    vote votes
    1–3
  3.  
    vote votes
    4–6
  4.  
    vote votes
    7–9
  5.  
    vote votes
    I'm actually hard all day — that's normal, right?
  1. How do you get rid of your boners?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Universal Studios
    Cold showers FTW.
    Flex my thigh to divert blood flow.
    Masturbating is the only way.
    Thinking of grandma always works.
    I wait for it to go down...eventually.

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How do you get rid of your boners?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Cold showers FTW.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Flex my thigh to divert blood flow.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Masturbating is the only way.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Thinking of grandma always works.
  5.  
    vote votes
    I wait for it to go down...eventually.
  1. What about if you're in a public place, how do you hide your boner?

    VladimirFLoyd / Getty Images
    I stick it in my waistband.
    I stick my hand in my pocket.
    I find a seat!
    I act normal. There's nothing to see here, people!

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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What about if you're in a public place, how do you hide your boner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I stick it in my waistband.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I stick my hand in my pocket.
  3.  
    vote votes
    I find a seat!
  4.  
    vote votes
    I act normal. There's nothing to see here, people!
  1. Which pants are the worst when you have a boner?

    Baramee2554, Rolleiflextlr, Photobalance, Popovaphoto / Getty Images
    Jeans — the fabric hurts.
    Sweatpants — the visual representation of a pitched tent.
    Gym shorts — might as well be wearing nothing.
    Dress pants — you can't even hide it when your shirt's tucked in.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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Which pants are the worst when you have a boner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Jeans — the fabric hurts.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Sweatpants — the visual representation of a pitched tent.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Gym shorts — might as well be wearing nothing.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Dress pants — you can't even hide it when your shirt's tucked in.
  1. Have you gotten a boner at work?

    Paramount Pictures
    YES, and I made it out alive.
    NO, I've been spared the embarrassment.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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Have you gotten a boner at work?
  1.  
    vote votes
    YES, and I made it out alive.
  2.  
    vote votes
    NO, I've been spared the embarrassment.
  1. What about during your commute, while on the train or bus, or in a car?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Live Leak
    Every damn day.
    Only sometimes — the engine vibrations have to be especially strong.
    It depends on what I'm thinking about.
    Nope. Why would I get one during these times?

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What about during your commute, while on the train or bus, or in a car?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Every damn day.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Only sometimes — the engine vibrations have to be especially strong.
  3.  
    vote votes
    It depends on what I'm thinking about.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Nope. Why would I get one during these times?
  1. How often do you get morning wood?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Entertainment One
    It's not a proper morning without it!
    Only on occasion.
    No morning wood, but what about afternoon wood?

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How often do you get morning wood?
  1.  
    vote votes
    It's not a proper morning without it!
  2.  
    vote votes
    Only on occasion.
  3.  
    vote votes
    No morning wood, but what about afternoon wood?
  1. Peeing with a boner: What's your technique?

    BuzzFeed
    The Lunge: One foot forward, you execute a deep lunge as you angle your pee into the toilet.
    The Frogger: Seated on the toilet, you lean forward till your hands are nearly on the ground to angle your pee inside.
    The Leaning Tower: Hand on the wall behind the toilet, you lean forward like the Tower of Pisa to angle your pee into the toilet.

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Peeing with a boner: What's your technique?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The Lunge: One foot forward, you execute a deep lunge as you angle your pee into the toilet.
  2.  
    vote votes
    The Frogger: Seated on the toilet, you lean forward till your hands are nearly on the ground to angle your pee inside.
  3.  
    vote votes
    The Leaning Tower: Hand on the wall behind the toilet, you lean forward like the Tower of Pisa to angle your pee into the toilet.
  1. Have you ever tried swinging your boner around like a helicopter?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Universal Pictures
    All the time!
    Maybe once — it was fun while it lasted.
    Nahh, that's not my style.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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Have you ever tried swinging your boner around like a helicopter?
  1.  
    vote votes
    All the time!
  2.  
    vote votes
    Maybe once — it was fun while it lasted.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Nahh, that's not my style.
  1. How often do you masturbate?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Fantasy Films
    Once a month or less.
    Maybe once a week.
    A few times a week.
    Once a day.
    A few times a day.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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How often do you masturbate?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Once a month or less.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Maybe once a week.
  3.  
    vote votes
    A few times a week.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Once a day.
  5.  
    vote votes
    A few times a day.
  1. Ever had trouble getting hard when the mood strikes?

    gpointstudio / Getty Images
    No, it works every time.
    Sometimes — if the mood's not right.
    Yup. It happens all the time, actually.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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Ever had trouble getting hard when the mood strikes?
  1.  
    vote votes
    No, it works every time.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Sometimes — if the mood's not right.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Yup. It happens all the time, actually.
  1. How long do your boners last?

    McBrew623 / someecards
    10 minutes or less.
    10–20 minutes.
    20–30 minutes.
    30–60 minutes.
    An hour or more.

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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How long do your boners last?
  1.  
    vote votes
    10 minutes or less.
  2.  
    vote votes
    10–20 minutes.
  3.  
    vote votes
    20–30 minutes.
  4.  
    vote votes
    30–60 minutes.
  5.  
    vote votes
    An hour or more.
  1. And finally, do you get more boners sitting down or standing up?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Showtime
    Sitting down.
    Standing up.
    Not sure — it kinda just happens!

Take This Completely Anonymous Poll That's All About Boners

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And finally, do you get more boners sitting down or standing up?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Sitting down.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Standing up.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Not sure — it kinda just happens!

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