18 Secrets Massage Therapists Will Never Tell You

    No, we won't give you a hand job or a golden shower.

    Many thanks to the licensed massage therapists who told us allll about their profession: Noelle Nieva of The Brooklyn Body Shop in Brooklyn, New York; Elise Walton of Balanced Harmony Massage in Virginia Beach, Virginia; and Geraldine Villeneuve, author of Put Your Best Feet Forward.

    1. No, massages aren't just a luxury for the rich and famous.

    2. It's cool to not know what you want or to know exactly what you want. Either way, communication is 🔑 🔑 🔑.

    3. Massage therapists know a shit ton about anatomy and physiology, and lots of different techniques.

    4. Massage therapists are usually really busy, so get to your appointment on time if you want to have the best experience.

    5. Sometimes boners happen mid-massage.

    6. No, you won't get a happy ending, so don't even think about it.🙅

    7. Wayyy too many people come in without showering beforehand, and it's the absolute WORST.

    8. Actually, just basic hygiene makes everything better.

    9. On the subject of feet, getting yours taken care of could actually change everything.

    10. Your pores will open up during the massage, and all that gunk inside your body will (sort of) spill out.

    11. Drinking water and doing something you enjoy afterward is the best way to keep the relaxation going.

    12. Loud moaning and groaning is kind of awkward.

    13. We see all kinds of bodies all day, so try not to feel too weird about getting undressed.

    14. And just to be sure, there are boundaries on your body we won't cross.

    15. Anyone can (and should) get a massage.

    16. If you have some kind of event coming up that involves physical activity, come to us a few days early.

    17. But if you just became ill, got injured, or are on medicine, you might want to get a doctor's referral first.

    18. We're compassionate, service-oriented people who really just want to help others.