You eat kaleWhen you say you want your dish "gourmet" you really mean "add kale"You actually like kaleYou have food allergiesYou've played soccer beforeYou've coached soccer beforeYou have a dogYour dog is a bratYour dog isn't actually a dog, rather it is a human in dog formYou've gone to WaysideYou went to Catholic schoolYou HATED that Catholic hell holeYou've gone to a Bristol, RI 4th of July paradeYou've never missed a Bristol, RI 4th of July parade in your lifeYou use the term "Homer Gift"You know what "cross contamination" meansYou can properly operate an Epi-PenYou know that no cake compares to a chocolate wacky cakeYou've seen Paula's book of cakes at least onceYou've shown someone Paula's book of cakesYou used to do gymnasticsPortion control? What's that?When exercising, if it hurts stop. Unless your foam rolling, then keep goingYou're the favorite and ONLY oldest/middle/youngest granddaughterYou flood social media with the embarrassing stuff your parents doYou know the horror that is making a bed with PaulaYou've been bitten by HoodsieYou know not to touch Hoodsie while she's sleepingYou know what Gramma Vegas isYou've seen Gramma VegasYou were in Gramma VegasYou actually like watching Gramma VegasSpeaking loudly around old people is a habitYou've heard the dead cat storyYou've heard the dead cat story minimum of 20 timesYou can recite the dead cat story by heartYou know that the only beach worth going to is in Middletown, RIYou know where the old Almax isYou're well versed in the love triangle between Hope, Liam, and SteffyThe wifi doesn't work if the microwave is runningYou know what a quahog isYou've eaten a quahog
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