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    The Definitive Ranking Of Nick-At-Nite Shows

    Highly scientific and not at all filtered through my 9-year-old consciousness.

    Anne Helen Petersen
    by Anne Helen Petersen

    BuzzFeed News Features Writer

    17. Gilligan's Island

    United Artists Television

    I would always overhear adults talking about Ginger and Mary Ann, but all I knew was that this show was super boring and a refuge of last resort.

    16. Mr. Ed

    The Mister Ed Company

    This show is seriously effed up.

    15. Get Smart

    Talent Associates

    I think I spent 99% of this show not understanding it. Satire is tough for 8-year-olds.

    14. Car 54, Where Are You?

    Eupolis Productions

    Car 54 was the first time television taught me that cops are doofuses.

    13. The Dick Van Dyke Show

    Calvada Productions

    This show is secretly kind of feminist.

    12. The Donna Reed Show

    Screen Gems

    Years later, I watched From Here To Eternity, in which Donna Reed plays a prostitute, and felt REALLY WEIRD.

    11. The Addams Family

    MGM Television

    The cool thing at recess was to sing the theme song over and over again, especially if you knew how to snap your fingers.

    10. Dragnet

    Mark VII Productions

    When someone told me that Mathnet from Square One was a play on Dragnet, it was like suddenly everything in the world MADE SENSE.

    9. Lassie

    Lassie Television

    There was always something really morose about the theme song to this show -- and the way the slightly alien-looking kid yelled, "Lasssssssieeeeee!"

    8. Dennis the Menace

    Screen Gems

    The weirdest part of watching this show was realizing that the kid who played Dennis was probably now older than your parents.

    7. Green Acres

    Filmways

    Nobody forgets their first exposure to a Gabor sister.

    6. I Dream of Jeannie

    Screen Gems

    They blurred out Jeannie's belly button and I was always SO. CONFUSED.

    5. Bewitched

    Screen Gems

    I was so confused when they switched Darrins.

    4. The Mary Tyler Moore Show

    MTM Productions

    Mary Tyler Moore was the second prettiest person in the whole world (after my mom).

    3. My Three Sons

    MCA Television

    Fred McMurray! He looked like my granddad, and he had such great cardigans.

    The youngest son was the cutest.

    2. I Love Lucy

    Desilu

    Even at age 6, I knew that Vitameatavegamin was gold.

    1. The Patty Duke Show

    Chrislaw Productions

    I loved that Patty's hair flipped out...and Cathy's flipped under. So clever! Sometimes I still sing this theme song to myself.