You have a special vendetta against Californians.You have very specific ideas about where the boundaries of Seattle begin and end.You think anyone who uses an umbrella is a huge wimp.You loved Ken Griffey Jr.You loved Shawn Kemp.You loved Gary Payton.You loved Detlef Schrempf.You know that 99 is always faster than I-5.You know never to go to Pike Place Market on a weekend in the summer.You remember the Seattle P-I.You've climbed all over the Fremont Troll.You've almost been clipped by a bicycle on the Burke-Gilman.You've almost been run over by a rollerblader at Green Lake.You'd recognize the Green Lake "Spanish Lessons" guy anywhere.You've Instagrammed the ever-changing flower memorial on the Green Lake trail near 99.You've taken a ride on the S.L.U.T.Now that there's a toll on 520, you avoid it at all costs.You've climbed the Queen Anne Stairs.You talk shit about anyone who pays to go to the top of the Space Needle.You know who the 12th Man is.You refuse to pay $23 to go to the EMP Museum.You know which buildings Paul Allen has paid for and which ones Bill Gates has paid for.You've had Dick's at 2 am.You've gotten stuck in ferry traffic on a Friday afternoon.Starbucks is your 10th choice for "good coffee."You've been in Alki Beach.You've taken the ferry to Bainbridge Island.You've taken the ferry to Vashon Island.You've taken the Edmonds-Kingston Ferry.You've taken a boat out on Lake Union.You call the University of Washington "U - Dub"And Washington State University "Wazzu"You've spent the day after Thanksgiving shivering while watching The Apple Cup live.You're partial to Rainier cherries.You know what it means when "the mountain's out."Driving over Snoqualmie Pass doesn't freak you out.You run/walk/bike do anything in the rain, because if you didn't, you'd never go out.You've taken a selfie at Gasworks Park.You've had amazing Dim-Sum in the International District.You know that summer doesn't start until after July 4th.And "summer weather" is anything over 60 degrees.You've flown Horizon Air.You brag about how beautiful the Seattle Airport is.You've never had salt damage on your car, and don't really know what it is.You do, however, know what studded snow tires are.You paid the monorail tax and bitched about it.But now you think the lightrail to the airport is GREAT.You describe the location in your neighborhood by how far away it is from a body of water.You remember the Ballard Denny's.You know what "the locks" are.And "the cut."You've "sailgated" before a Huskies Game.You remember the Honey Bear Bakery in Tangletown.You know it's sketchy to swim in Green Lake.You know the best beach is the one in Madison Park.And the best BBQ spot is Golden Gardens.You refer to Pike Place as "The Market," never "Pike Place."You get annoyed when tourists call it "Pike's Place."You've hung out on a houseboat on Lake Union....or lived on one.You've waited in line to eat at Paseo.And saved many paychecks to eat at Canlis.If you're a guy, anytime you wear a shirt with a collar and buttons you know it counts as "dressing up."If you're a girl, Dankso clogs = "dressing up."You think no one can cook salmon quite as well as you can.You think of Portland as your hippy, not-as-sophisticated cousin.You know exactly how late you'll be when one of the bridges goes up.You death every time you drove on the Viaduct.You know exactly what "The Ave" refers to.You've seen a blockbuster at Cinerama.And a show at The Paramount.You feel VERY STRONGLY about your neighborhood and why it's better than all other Seattle neighborhoods.You talk a lot about getting a cabin in the San Juans.You own "performance outer wear."You know there's nothing funnier than watching cars slip down Queen Anne Hill when it snows.You know why the Space Needle was capped with orange last year.You've walked home instead of waiting for a Seattle cab.You've spun out going up one of steep downtown hills in the rain.Nothing makes you happier than the site of the red shipping cranes when you turn the corner coming up I-5 from the airport.Because you truly, deeply, madly love Seattle.
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