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What Every Feminist Should Be Doing To Survive 2017

A survival guide for when the tired, old patriarchy turns into a very angry Incredible Hulk version of the patriarchy.

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Take a cue from your president and lead by example


You can do anything! Hey, we've been fending off groping from strangers all our lives, so we might as well prescribe a dose of their own medicine. Be sure you're firm, however: smack or tug. It has to be unpleasant. It has to hurt them as much as it kills your soul to do it.

Retire the trend of baby talk or dumb girl talk


When and why did Sexy Baby Talk become a thing? It's the eternal question, but it is indeed a thing. And the dumb girl talk has been popularized in the media seemingly since the media became a thing. It's time to pitch these looks, ladies. They will only justify patronizing and patriarchal attitudes. Unless, of course, you are actually a baby--in that case, carry on. If you're actually a dumb girl, see the next point.

Read all the feminist books ever written so that you're basically a psychic


bell hooks. Gertrude Stein. Jessica Valenti. Audre Lorde. Germaine Greer. Roxane Gay. Read them all and you'll be able to predict the future, because history repeats itself and this shit is not new.

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