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7 Lesbian Sex Haikus (With Cats!)

If you've ever wondered what lesbian sex is like, these haikus are for you.

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The following lesbian sex haikus (with cats!) are excerpted from The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!), in stores now.

Kelsey Beyer / Flatiron Books


Lesbian foreplay:

Strip every time Rachel

Maddow makes a pun.


Strap-on sex is fun

Until you realize, you

Don't know when to stop.


It's like straight sex—same

insecurities, regrets—

But with more laundry.


Pour the wine, light the

fire, fight over something she

said eight months ago.

Kelsey Beyer / Flatiron Books


There's not one right way

lesbians get it on. There

are, like, four at least.


It's like straight sex, but

the little spoon is determined

by lottery.


Autocorrect turns

"mmm" to "mom." Freud rises from

grave, "I told you so!"


Anna Pulley is a writer in Oakland, California. Her work has appeared in New York magazine and Mother Jones, on BuzzFeed, AlterNet, The Toast, and Salon, and in zines tastefully peppered with Ani DiFranco lyrics. She's been a repeat guest on Dan Savage's podcast, Savage Love, and is a sex and relationship columnist for the Chicago Tribune and AfterEllen. Let her send you haiku and crude cat emoticons at

Art by Kelsey Beyer.

For more lesbian sex haikus, be sure to check out The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!).

Flatiron Books