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    Posted on Dec 24, 2012

    The Definitive Chart Of Movies You Can See With Your Family

    What will entertain you without scaring kids or offending grandparents? A time-honored conundrum, solved.

    John Gara for BuzzFeed

    The Breakdown

    Kids Only

    Rise of the Guardians: This apparently is about imagination. Your black heart is too old for this shit.

    Grandparents Only

    Hyde Park on Hudson: Just like The King's Speech, but in America (it even includes the same King).

    You Only

    This Is 40: Grandparents holding out for sequel, This Is 80. Kids assume film is about the afterlife.

    Jack Reacher: Could be fun, but you'll probably get in trouble if you take your niece to this.

    Killing Them Softly: Has Brad Pitt, but almost certainly has cursing and, well, killing.

    Zero Dark Thirty: Pros: Oscar bait. Cons: torture.

    Django Unchained: Possibly good, definitely violent.

    You & Grandparents

    The Guilt Trip: Has both Barbara Streisand and Adam Scott. Kids will be totally bored.

    Flight: An all-star cast of adults talking about adult things.

    Lincoln: Two-hour-plus runtime means kids will be chewing their own arms off.

    You & Kids

    Monsters Inc. 3D: You get to enjoy the re-release of a Pixar classic; kids can see it for the first time.

    Grandparents & Kids

    Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away: Grandma and Grandpa can enjoy taking the kids to the circus without leaving the neighborhood multiplex; you will likely only enjoy if stoned.

    Everyone

    Life of Pi: Tigers, moving story, no obvious sex. Possibly a win for all of you!

    Les Miserables: A filmic recreation of a beloved musical. However, includes prostitutes. This one is borderline.

    The Hobbit: Will probably offend only Tolkien purists, and those nauseated by its weird new film speed.

    Most of the above should be playing this week at a theater near you.

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