11 Ways The iPhone Has Revolutionized Sex

Now that we can sext, e-stalk, and “boobstagram” with a few taps of a touchscreen, our sex lives will never be the same.

1. It ruined post-coital cuddling.

Donald Joski / Via shutterstock.com

A 2009 survey found that 36 percent of respondents under age 35 admitted to using their smartphones to check social media right after sex. iPhone users were three times as likely as Blackberry owners to indulge in this post-coital behavior. Men were twice as likely as women to do this — presumably a large percentage of them were just tweeting links to this video.

2. It brought us the vibrator app.

MyVibe lets you harness the iPhone’s vibrate function for self-pleasuring purposes. Downside: the phone is reportedly not as powerful as an actual vibrator.

3. It made us sexier (or less picky).

Despite the fact that it enables obnoxious post-sex tweeting, the iPhone apparently makes its users more attractive — at least as measured by number of sex partners. A 2010 survey of 30-year-old smartphone owners found that iPhone users had had more partners in their lifetime than users of any other smartphone. Female users enjoyed the biggest benefit, with an average of 12.3 sex partners compared with Android users’ 6.1.

4. It made Google-stalking instantaneous.

With an iPhone in hand, you can Google the hot guy at the bar — from the bar — before you go home and do each other.

5. It made sharing naked pics with the world so much easier.

The iPhone’s seamless integration of camera, text, and tweet functions has convinced countless users — from Anthony Weiner to the anonymous guys on a variety of “hot guys with iPhones” sites — that pictures of their pecs, boobs, and junk should definitely be all over social media. Thank you?

6. And gave us the tools to make sure our private shots stayed private.

The app Snapchat allows users to set a time after which their pics will self-destruct. Said one online reviewer, “I’m pretty sure it’s meant for nudes.”

7. It gave us the “Boobstagram” phenomenon.

Yes, there is a site just for Instagrammed photos of boobs, and yes, it is called Boobstagram. Instagram user “boobstagrammig” also appears popular, if spelling-challenged.

8. It can function as a portable set of breasts.

Via lot.my

The manufacturer claims this case “makes even the most boring call a titillating experience.”

9. Or a portable butt.

10. It let us learn new positions while pretending to check our email.

The app iKamasutra — tagline, “There’s a position for that” — is just one of many Kama Sutra-based apps that allow users to peruse the sex techniques described in that ancient text while on the go (or, perhaps, actually during sex).

11. It allows us to read embarrassing books in public without anyone knowing.

By reading sexy literature on an iPhone, you can quickly open up an innocent app if anyone starts peering over your shoulder.

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