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    If '90s Toy Ads Were Honest

    There were a lot of things the toy makers wouldn't mention. For example, pain.

    1. Because apparently gender roles need to exist from early on?

    Via Hasbro / BuzzFeed

    "Supporting the patriarchy since 1963."

    2. Having a heart attack at eight is what every kid secretly dreams of.

    Via Hasbro / BuzzFeed

    "Awaken your worst nightmares in the middle of the night."

    3. Has anyone really ever used this to trick someone?

    Via Tiger / BuzzFeed

    "You'll only want it because Kevin had it."

    4. There's no such thing as eternal happiness.

    Via Glober Industries / BuzzFeed

    "Have fun! But for like one day, though. It won't stick anymore after that."

    5. With great toys comes great suffering.

    Via Lego / BuzzFeed

    "Just imagine...the pain you'll feel when you step on one."

    6. Maybe you should reconsider asking Santa for that dog, too.

    Via Bandai / BuzzFeed

    "The first proof you should not have children."

    7. Because everyone needs that ball and chain experience at least once in their life.

    Via Hasbro / BuzzFeed

    "Bruises included!"

    8. Your unconditioned reflexes are not fast enough, sorry.

    Via Mookie / BuzzFeed

    "In yo' face!"

    9. Imagination knows no limits, but your need for art supplies does.

    Via Toy Giant / BuzzFeed

    "Be honest with yourself, Jessica. You'll never need that many markers."

    10. No one ever used the tongs. It's sort of our own fault, really.

    Via MB Games / BuzzFeed

    "Having fingers is overrated anyway."

    11. A hope for those who were less skilled.

    Via Mookie / BuzzFeed

    "We're so sorry you can't catch."

    12. It was all fun and games until it turned out someone forgot to check the ground for sharp objects.

    Via Wham-O / BuzzFeed

    "Rock'n Pain Edition."

    13. Better start young.

    Via Hart / BuzzFeed

    "We'll prepare you for drunk walking at the age of 10!"

    14. Unrealistic body proportions.

    Via Mattel / BuzzFeed

    "FYI, no one looks like that IRL. You're beautiful."

    15. A definitive proof '90s toy makers had no clue what they were doing.

    Via Galoob / BuzzFeed

    "At this point we don't even know anymore...buy this?"

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