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    Posted on Sep 28, 2015

    The Windows 98 Screensavers Ranked From Worst To Best

    Never forget that maze.

    18. The Baseball Game

    Microsoft / Via

    No doubt this one was thrown in last minute, when the computer nerds designing this shit were pressured to relate to the sport-loving PC owners. "This is what baseball looks like, right?"

    17. The Flying Flag

    Microsoft / Via

    Sure it's a classic, but it's also pretty terrible. Only the most basic of Windows 98 owners would choose this as their go-to screensaver. What is that flag even doing? It's like a weird, flag fish flopping around unattractively. Next.

    16. The Forest Floor

    Microsoft / Via

    The one good thing about this one was that sometimes your mom would scream at it, thinking there was an actual bug crawling across the monitor. Other than that though, who wants to see gross bugs when there are so many other great screensavers to choose from?

    15. The Creepy 19th Century Scene

    Microsoft / Via

    Does anyone actually remember this one? What the fuck is even happening here? Who is that man? This one made no sense, and the only reason it's this far down on the list is because it's damn fascinating.

    14. The Flying Logos

    Microsoft / Via

    Nothing particularly special about this one, but hundreds of flying logos is better than just one. It's kind of like if Captain Kirk took us into warp drive inside Bill Gates's mind. (Would watch that episode.)

    13. The Circuit Board

    Microsoft / Via

    Ah, the circuit board. Not actually a lot was going on, but it was pretty dope to imagine that this was the inner workings of your computer back in the day.

    12. The Building Blocks

    Microsoft / Via

    Now we're getting to the good stuff! This one was innovative as heck, building a structure out of whatever had just been on your screen before it went idle. It got old pretty quickly though. I mean, no original material? It's like the fanfiction of screensavers.

    11. The Rain Forest

    Microsoft / Via

    The perfect combination of entertainment and education! The rain forest aesthetic was rad as hell, and you never knew what cool plant or animal was going to pop up next. This screensaver surely fostered several budding biologists out there.

    10. The Swirl

    Microsoft / Via

    This one was straight trippy. The only downside was that confusing moment where you weren't sure if your shrooms were finally kicking in while you were checking your AOL or if the screensaver had just come on.

    9. The Floating Words

    Microsoft / Via

    Oh heck yes. There was ample room for creativity on this one--you could type your name, leave messages for people to discover later, declare your love for your favorite band, or go for the ALWAYS hilarious floating curse word. Classic.

    8. The Twisting Lines

    Microsoft / Via

    This is some goddamn art right here. Mesmorizing shit. Not only is the shape constantly shifting, but the lines are doing some crazy crisscrossing magic, AND the colors are changing?? Incredible, truly.

    7. The Ocean Floor

    Microsoft / Via

    The ocean is so classic. It was graphically beautiful, full of life, and the closest to realism any of the screensavers got. I mean, how cool is it that the background is black instead of that annoying fake ocean blue?

    6. The Astronaut Adrift

    Microsoft / Via

    Pretty much the same as the ocean one, but, space. So, better.

    5. The Warp Drive

    Microsoft / Via

    This was the freakin' best. You could stare at these stars go by for hours. Can't you just feel the Starship Enterprise surrounding you as you seek out new life and new civilizations? Engage.

    4. The Morphing Cube

    Microsoft / Via

    This one was just mind blowing in terms of geometry, you know? This is some crazy 4th-dimension, atom splitting, Interstellar shit. It's just like a quantum physics lesson right on your home computer screen (probably).

    3. The Pipes

    Microsoft / Via

    What really makes this one is the depth of field. You feel like these intricate, colorful pipes go on for miles. What do these weird, nonsensical pipes contain, you might ask? The answer is shh, doesn't matter, just stare at them.

    2. The Haunted House

    Microsoft / Via

    Some A+ spooky aesthetic right here in this one. It was scary AF, which is what made it so great. You never knew what was going happen next in that creepy-ass house. A decent substitute for an actual horror movie before the days of Netflix.

    1. The Maze

    Microsoft / Via

    Does this even need words? The maze, the classic, the one and only. Nothing could ever top this.

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