We asked the BuzzFeed Community for the worst things that have happened to them while working in hospitality. Here are the ~not-so-suite~ results.
1. The suspicious sludge:
When I was a housekeeping supervisor, I got a call that sent me to the fourth floor, where I found a trail of poop leading from the elevators to the end of the hall. While a team of people were cleaning up the trail, an elderly woman walked out of the room where the poo trail ended, like everything was totally normal. The next day, the housekeeper called me crying because that lady's bathtub was also filled to the brim with poop.
2. Just the tip:
I was cleaning rooms in a small, Midwestern hotel. There'd been a rodeo over the weekend and the rooms were GROSS. I slogged through and came to one in which the bathroom was covered in blood. SO. MUCH. BLOOD. I started cleaning, and when I reached behind the toilet to wipe the floor, I found something hard and small, like a pebble. I opened my rag to see what it was, and IT WAS A FINGERTIP. SOMEONE HAD SEVERED THEIR FINGERTIP. We still don't know what happened.
3. The series of unfortunate events:
There was a dildo under a bed I was cleaning. When I went to grab my claw so as not to touch the sex toy, I stumbled, my hand grabbed at the bedsheets, and a hypodermic needle lodged itself into my hand. I panicked and stepped backwards again, and a nail sticking up from the door frame went straight through the heel of my shoe. Oh, and no worries — I was tested after the needle was removed, and I'm clean!
4. A pee-cret affair:
I worked front desk at a hotel a few summers back. Two guests who were both married to other people (they always made sure to remind us) would meet at the hotel, hook up, and request new sheets by the end of the night because the current ones got "dirty." The worst part? They weren't just having sex — they were peeing on each other, and all over the room.
5. The nature nightmare:
A housekeeper called me, saying a guy pooped and vomited ALL OVER his room, so we immediately deactivated his key so he'd have to come get a new one. When he showed up, I explained that we'd have to charge him a deep cleaning fee before reactivating the key. After he paid, I couldn't help but ask what happened. He just shrugged and answered, "I dreamt that a bear was chasing me," and left.
6. The ruined rager:
A kid checked into his parents' timeshare, saying they'd be joining him later. Well, his parents didn't show up, but 25 of his friends did for a party that resulted in someone being thrown into a floor-to-ceiling window, guests complaining all night about the noise, and the cops showing up. The kid got arrested, along with everyone else who was too drunk or stoned to get away before the police arrived, and his parents had to foot the bill for the damages.
7. The mystery of the missing colleague:
I was working room service and got a call 15 minutes before closing. My co-worker disappeared an hour before, so I had to take the food. I went to deliver it, and a man answered in a towel — which was kind of shocking, but nothing new. I set the tray down, and the bathroom door opened. Guess who it was? My co-worker, BUTT-ASS NAKED. I set the tray down and slowly backed out. No words.
8. The slaw situation:
I was a housekeeper, and one day I went into a room after a guest checked out. It smelled a *little* funky, but I couldn't find the source of the stench. I went to strip the bed, pulled the sheets back, and the bed was filled with coleslaw. COLESLAW! I had no idea why, and I do NOT want to know why!
9. The hazmat horror:
One time, while an older man was checking out, he handed my manager an extra $50 for the "inconvenience" — but didn't go into detail. When housekeeping went to his room, there was blood everywhere: on the floors, the bathroom mirror, even the shower! We never figured out where it all came from. It legitimately looked like he murdered someone in there. We had to call the police and have a special hazmat cleaner come in.
10. The one that was just too much:
Upon entering a room after a group of construction workers left, I was taken aback by the smell of piss, beer, and cigarettes. The floor had pee and beer stains all over it, and was covered in used condoms. Despite the hotel being smoke-free, the blankets were full of burn holes, and when I finally got to the bathroom, I found the toilet clogged with shit, on the verge of overflowing. I ended up running to vomit in the trash and called for backup. I still gag thinking about it.
11. Taking the plunge:
A guest called asking me to send up a plunger, and was very adamant about not needing any extra help — just a plunger. Half an hour later, he came down with water stains up to his thighs, wanting to switch rooms. I told him we were sold out, he said that was bullshit, and disappeared. The next day, my manager walked into his office and screamed — it was filled with water! We went to the room above the office, and it was plunger man's room! He claimed he fell asleep and left the tub running. But it gets even better: Later that same day, an older man stopped by the hotel, saying he was pretty positive his son stole his credit card and was staying at our hotel. You guessed it — his son was plunger man!
12. The necklace nightmare:
I was making a bed in a room with my co-worker when we noticed a tube of lube on the nightstand. We giggled, but didn't think anything of it. When I pulled up the sheets, I grabbed something that felt like a large beaded necklace, so I held it up and made a joke about tacky jewelry. My co-worker shrieked, "THOSE ARE ANAL BEADS!" I screamed, threw them, and gagged.
13. The grossed-out granny:
I checked in this cute elderly couple and sent them to their room. Minutes later, the woman called the front desk, saying the room was unacceptable — she didn't give a reason, but was persistent. I promptly got them another, apologized, and sent a housekeeper to look at the original one. She discovered the room was mistakenly put in the system as "clean," when in fact, it very much was not: There were adult toys, lube, and ~niche~ magazines. I accidentally sent a cute grandma and grandpa into someone's personal porn den.
—Carey Lynne, Facebook
14. The not-so-smooth criminal:
The place I worked at had this regular who stayed for a couple of days every few months on business. One night he checked in, and the next day the police turned up! It turned out he was using a fake passport and fake identity, and was actually one of the U.K.'s most-wanted men at the time, as a serial sex offender. The guy even has a Wikipedia page detailing his crime spree.
15. And the biggest false alarm of all time:
I work the front desk. One morning, a housekeeper burst in, screaming, "301 IS DEAD!" I called emergency services, trying to get as many details as possible from this poor woman. She saw a body on the bed with an electrical cord around the neck. The police arrived, I gave them a key, and after a few minutes one of the officers came down and said, "There's no body." Apparently some funny guys decided to leave a fake murder scene for us to find. The officer said it was so realistic, he didn't notice it was fake until he went to take the sheet away from the "head." Our housekeeper was traumatized.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.