23 Bizarre Sex Toys That’ll Confuse The Hell Out Of You

Because everyone needs an Obama dildo. [NSFW, obviously.]

We asked the BuzzFeed Community for the weirdest sex toys they’ve ever seen. Here are the eye-opening results.

1. The Ovipositor

 

This cute dildo ejaculates alien eggs into you.

ericag41

2. The Jackhammer Jesus

Divine Interventions / Via divine-interventions.com

 

You know what to do with this. Put it in feet first.

—Dani Garcia, Facebook

3. My Little Pony Sex Dolls

These dolls have a special pocket for… activities. Live your life.

altheah47

4. Enema Pants

 

To allow you to have an enema with your own pee.

sym2

5. The Growler

Primal Hardwere / Via primalhardwere.com

 

This dildo is created to exemplify “what a werewolf’s cock might be like.”

elizabethb44

6. The Concubine

 

For ~between-the-breast~ fans.

annikaa4

7. The “Pussy Pump”

Adam & Eve / Via adameve.com

 

Using this will apparently make your vagina more sensitive, so you can enjoy sex more. The downside? There will be a lot of swelling at first.

—Kelly Hutchins, Facebook

8. The Vibrating Vomiting Mouth Stroker

This thing comes with “realistic vomit chunks,” because, why not?

—Lex Gore, Facebook

9. The Zeus Electrosex Urethral Sound

It plugs into the urethra, running a current through the whole rod for ~extra pleasurable sensations~.

clb

10. The Neigh Sayer

Primal Hardwere / Via primalhardwere.com

 

For those of us who have partners “hung like a horse” and want to practice while he’s not around.

elizabethb44

11. Just-In Beaver Blow-Up Doll

 

It’s officially too late to say sorry.

Ccr5757

12. The Basilisk “Were-able”

 

Made to wear on your penis to resemble a more reptile-like dick.

annikaa4

13. The Selfie Stick

 

It’s a dildo… with a camera. So you can see what an orgasm looks like from behind the scenes.

annikaa4

14. The Pipedream Extreme Fuck My Face

 

It claims to give better blow jobs than an actual human being.

annikaa4

15. The Great American Challenge

Love Honey / Via lovehoney.co.uk

 

It might look like your average dildo, but it’s 2 FEET TALL AND 6 INCHES WIDE.

Bocalauren

16. Fleshlight Alien Male Masturbator

 

To explore your primal alien desires. It’s like a fleshlight, but way more out of this world.

summerkitten

17. Mr. Jack With a Moustache

For those of us who like to ride with handlebars.

—Deb Ann, Facebook

18. The Heeldo

Heeldo / Via heeldo.com

 

It’s a dildo harness that you attach to your heel, for hands-free action.

jessicalynl

19. Barack Obama Dildo

Head O State / Via adsavvy.org

 

DO YOU LOVE YOUR COUNTRY? Prove it.

grcemeise

20. The Ass Midget

 

Because you wondered where you could find a gnome that would fit up there.

mistresdmandi1993

21. Teddy Love Vibrating Bear

This furry friend vibrates all over and “discreetly blends in with the rest of your home,” so you don’t have to hide him when your friends come over.

Anna Kopsky

22. The Autoblow Robotic Sex Simulator

Auto Blow / Via autoblow2.com

Because sometimes your arm needs a rest.

—Richard Eric, Facebook

23. And The Vajankle

Sinthetics / Via sinthetics.biz

 

Literally made for people with foot fetishes.

—Anastasia Procner, Facebook

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