17 Actually Helpful Dating Tips For Anyone Dealing With Anxiety
Sometimes Nutella and a good snuggle cures all.
We asked the BuzzFeed Community for their best dating tips for people with anxiety. Here's what they had to say.
1. If you're socially anxious, try online dating — it takes away a huge amount of pressure.
"You get to avoid those awkward nights where you're like, 'I wonder if I'll even meet anyone at this bar.'"
2. If you're serious about someone, be up front — wouldn't you rather know how they're going to handle it ASAP?
—Emily Williams, Facebook
3. Give your partner insight into your needs. If Nutella and a good snuggle will comfort you, tell them!
4. Realize that not all butterflies are bad. Sometimes feeling nervous can lead to something good.
—Julie Neff, Facebook
5. But don't force yourself into anything! If you don't feel comfortable, they're not for you.
6. There are simple ways to relax your mind before a romantic evening, like listening to music you love.
"Pick a song you know you love by your favorite band, and take a few deep breaths while listening."
7. But also know it's 100% OK to dip out on plans if you feel like you're too anxious.
"The physical effects of anxiety sometimes make me sick in public, and that can be a bit of a downer."
8. If you can't find the words to explain to your S.O. how you're feeling, try a different method, like writing a letter.
"The letters have helped him understand how my mind works, and makes it easier for us to communicate."
9. Let your S.O. know that though anxiety's rough, it's only a small part of what defines you.
"All they have to do is understand and accept that."
10. Allow yourself to be impulsive every once in awhile.
"I just blurt out whatever I'm feeling at the time! If I start to overthink, I'll panic and get paranoid, and then I chicken out."
11. Know that first dates are always awkward, and it's totally OK to feel anxious.
12. Fake it 'til you make it. Most of the time, no one notices your anxiety but you!
13. Let your partner know that anxiety attacks are unpredictable and there aren't always a reason for them.
14. And remind them that you need reassurance and need to know when they're happy.
15. Know that while you need support, you can't rely on your S.O to be your backbone.
"Anxiety disorders take lots of self work."
16. If someone takes the time to learn about what you're going through, they're worth keeping around.
"It's rare to find someone who's willing to be understanding."
17. And never, ever feel bad about having anxiety. If someone makes you feel horrible about it, they don't deserve you!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.