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The Definitive Ranking Of The Men From The "Hobbit" Trilogy

SO. MANY. BEARDS.

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23. The Master of Laketown

Warner Bros. Pictures

Somewhere in-between the astounding narcissism, the dubious facial hair, and the combover, this ruler of Esgaroth just isn't cutting it.

19. Radagast the Brown

Warner Bros. Pictures

Being a wizard is great and all, but Radagast travels by way of sled-pulled-by-rabbits. Not exactly something you could brag to your friends about. If there's such thing as being too in touch with nature, Radagast is it.

6. Bilbo Baggins

Warner Bros. Pictures

Bilbo is a precious hobbit cupcake who is literally as cute as a button. What's that you're saying about his face from the Fellowship of the Ring? I can't hear you.

3. Bard the Bowman

Warner Bros. Pictures

He looked a hell of a lot more like Orlando Bloom in this movie than Orlando Bloom did himself, if we're being real. Also, SO HEROIC AND BROODY.

1. Thorin Oakenshield

Warner Bros. Pictures

Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. The King Under the Mountain. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. Though it was a close call, the commanding presence and heart of Thorin sets him above the rest (and don't even get me started on his glorious hair). If you looked up the word "majestic" in a dictionary, Thorin's picture would be the only definition.

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