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    The Definitive Ranking Of The Men From The "Hobbit" Trilogy

    SO. MANY. BEARDS.

    25. Dain Ironfoot

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    He's just kinda grimy and gruff looking. Not exactly bangable.

    24. Alfrid

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    That unibrow. That sleazy voice. That HAT. *shudders*

    23. The Master of Laketown

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Somewhere in-between the astounding narcissism, the dubious facial hair, and the combover, this ruler of Esgaroth just isn't cutting it.

    22. Bombur

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Basically a butterball with a ginger Rapunzel beard. But hey, if you're into that sort of thing...

    21. Dori

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Someone really needs to tell him that his mustache isn't fetch.

    20. Oin

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    What a grump.

    19. Radagast the Brown

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Being a wizard is great and all, but Radagast travels by way of sled-pulled-by-rabbits. Not exactly something you could brag to your friends about. If there's such thing as being too in touch with nature, Radagast is it.

    18. Bifur

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Looks like he stood in a bucket of water during a lightning storm, honestly.

    17. Saruman

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    An attitude adjustment might've helped his case but whatevs.

    16. Gloin

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Being Gimli's dad has to count for something, right?

    15. Nori

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    That beard though. #tryhard

    14. Gandalf the Grey

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    He's probably older than Middle Earth itself but this sly dog has some boss-ass moves.

    13. Balin

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Sure he's old, but he's a sweetheart and was probably a cute lil dwarf in his prime.

    12. Dwalin

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    His baldness is a bit unsettling, but there's something rugged about his face. I guess.

    11. Beorn

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Like those before him, it's really the facial hair that ruins his chances.

    10. Ori

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    ...he'd probably be a little better off without those bangs, but he's not completely terrible.

    9. Bofur

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Actual ray of sunshine Bofur.

    8. Elrond

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Not the fairest elf of them all, but still a pretty smooth bastard.

    7. Fili

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    I mean, he's Thorin's nephew. It's pretty much a requirement that he's good looking.

    6. Bilbo Baggins

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Bilbo is a precious hobbit cupcake who is literally as cute as a button. What's that you're saying about his face from the Fellowship of the Ring? I can't hear you.

    5. Legolas Greenleaf

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Though for some reason he wasn't as hot in this trilogy as he was in the first one, Legolas is still quite the attractive BAMF.

    4. Thranduil

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    This Elven King has achieved levels of fabulousness that we mere mortals can only dream of.

    3. Bard the Bowman

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    He looked a hell of a lot more like Orlando Bloom in this movie than Orlando Bloom did himself, if we're being real. Also, SO HEROIC AND BROODY.

    2. Kili

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    The youngest and by far the most charming dwarf in Thorin's Company. Also proves the point that sometimes, less is more where beards are concerned.

    1. Thorin Oakenshield

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. The King Under the Mountain. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. Though it was a close call, the commanding presence and heart of Thorin sets him above the rest (and don't even get me started on his glorious hair). If you looked up the word "majestic" in a dictionary, Thorin's picture would be the only definition.

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