Skip To Content
  • Poll badge
  • Quiz badge
Oct 27, 2016

12 Weird Sex Toy "Would You Rather" Questions That Are Impossible To Answer

See if you can get through this without swearing off sex forever.

  1. If you had to stick one in you, which would you pick?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
If you had to stick one in you, which would you pick?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This probably blasphemous "Jackhammer Jesus" dildo
  2.  
    vote votes
    This "Head O State" Barack Obama dildo
  1. How would you rather explore some ~interspecies~ fun?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
How would you rather explore some ~interspecies~ fun?
  1.  
    vote votes
    "The Tentacle," which is about as girthy as a goddamn soda can
  2.  
    vote votes
    "The Growler," which emulates a werewolf dong
  1. "I choose you, ____!"

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
"I choose you, ____!"
  1.  
    vote votes
    "Charmy," the Charmander-inspired dildo
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Squirty," the Squirtle-inspired dildo
  3.  
    vote votes
    "Bulby," the Bulbasaur-inspired toy
  4.  
    vote votes
    "Piky," the Pikachu-inspired butt plug
  1. Which would you rather stick up your butt?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which would you rather stick up your butt?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The "Gerbil Flex Stimulator," which is supposed to feel like a gerbil up your bum
  2.  
    vote votes
    This big ol' pinecone-shaped butt plug
  1. Which is the lesser of two penis-enveloping evils?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which is the lesser of two penis-enveloping evils?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The supremely lifelike "Vajankle"
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Mr. Jack with a Moustache"
  1. How would you rather ruin your childhood?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
How would you rather ruin your childhood?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The "Teddy Love" vibrating stuffed bear
  2.  
    vote votes
    The "Rub My Duckie" vibrator
  1. Which would you rather bring into bed with you?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which would you rather bring into bed with you?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This "Death by Orgasm" scorpion vibrator
  2.  
    vote votes
    This not-at-all-creepy clown vibrator
  1. Which would you rather sit on?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which would you rather sit on?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This whimsical "Double Magic Ball" with two insertable dildos
  2.  
    vote votes
    This pointy "Cone Vibrator"
  1. Which love doll would you rather get it on with?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which love doll would you rather get it on with?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This Justin Bieber-inspired "Just-In Beaver"
  2.  
    vote votes
    This three-boobed Area 51 beauty with three out-of-this-world holes
  1. How would you rather have some all-American fun?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
How would you rather have some all-American fun?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This double-ended "Fantasy Football Stroker"
  2.  
    vote votes
    This fuckable "Footlong Stroker" hotdog
  1. Which giant dong would you prefer?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which giant dong would you prefer?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The footlong "Great American Challenge"
  2.  
    vote votes
    The 15-inch Orca dildo, which will have you "swimming in a sea of lust"
  1. Which, uh...just...which one?

Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Which, uh...just...which one?
  1.  
    vote votes
    This "Ovipositor," which ejaculates alien eggs into you
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Enema Pants," which allow you to have an enema with your own pee