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12 Weird Sex Toy "Would You Rather" Questions That Are Impossible To Answer

See if you can get through this without swearing off sex forever.

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  1. If you had to stick one in you, which would you pick?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This probably blasphemous "Jackhammer Jesus" dildo
    Via divine-interventions.com
    This probably blasphemous "Jackhammer Jesus" dildo
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This "Head O State" Barack Obama dildo
    Via adsavvy.org
    This "Head O State" Barack Obama dildo
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If you had to stick one in you, which would you pick?
  1. This probably blasphemous
     
    vote votes
    This probably blasphemous "Jackhammer Jesus" dildo
  2. This
     
    vote votes
    This "Head O State" Barack Obama dildo
  1. How would you rather explore some ~interspecies~ fun?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    "The Tentacle," which is about as girthy as a goddamn soda can
    Via bad-dragon.com
    "The Tentacle," which is about as girthy as a goddamn soda can
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "The Growler," which emulates a werewolf dong
    Via primalhardwere.com
    "The Growler," which emulates a werewolf dong
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How would you rather explore some ~interspecies~ fun?
  1.  
    vote votes
    "The Tentacle," which is about as girthy as a goddamn soda can
  2.  
    vote votes
    "The Growler," which emulates a werewolf dong
  1. "I choose you, ____!"

    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Charmy," the Charmander-inspired dildo
    Via GeekySexToys
    "Charmy," the Charmander-inspired dildo
    Via GeekySexToys
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Squirty," the Squirtle-inspired dildo
    Via GeekySexToys
    "Squirty," the Squirtle-inspired dildo
    Via GeekySexToys
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Bulby," the Bulbasaur-inspired toy
    Via GeekySexToys
    "Bulby," the Bulbasaur-inspired toy
    Via GeekySexToys
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Piky," the Pikachu-inspired butt plug
    Via GeekySexToys
    "Piky," the Pikachu-inspired butt plug
    Via GeekySexToys
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"I choose you, ____!"
  1.  
    vote votes
    "Charmy," the Charmander-inspired dildo
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Squirty," the Squirtle-inspired dildo
  3.  
    vote votes
    "Bulby," the Bulbasaur-inspired toy
  4.  
    vote votes
    "Piky," the Pikachu-inspired butt plug
  1. Which would you rather stick up your butt?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The "Gerbil Flex Stimulator," which is supposed to feel like a gerbil up your bum
    Via screwysextoys.com
    The "Gerbil Flex Stimulator," which is supposed to feel like a gerbil up your bum
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This big ol' pinecone-shaped butt plug
    Via screwysextoys.com
    This big ol' pinecone-shaped butt plug
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Which would you rather stick up your butt?
  1. The
     
    vote votes
    The "Gerbil Flex Stimulator," which is supposed to feel like a gerbil up your bum
  2. This big ol' pinecone-shaped butt plug
     
    vote votes
    This big ol' pinecone-shaped butt plug
  1. Which is the lesser of two penis-enveloping evils?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The supremely lifelike "Vajankle"
    Via sinthetics.biz
    The supremely lifelike "Vajankle"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Mr. Jack with a Moustache"
    Via sickchirpse.com
    "Mr. Jack with a Moustache"
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Which is the lesser of two penis-enveloping evils?
  1. The supremely lifelike
     
    vote votes
    The supremely lifelike "Vajankle"
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Mr. Jack with a Moustache"
  1. How would you rather ruin your childhood?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The "Teddy Love" vibrating stuffed bear
    Via teddy-love.myshopify.com
    The "Teddy Love" vibrating stuffed bear
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The "Rub My Duckie" vibrator
    Via amazon.com
    The "Rub My Duckie" vibrator
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How would you rather ruin your childhood?
  1. The
     
    vote votes
    The "Teddy Love" vibrating stuffed bear
  2. The
     
    vote votes
    The "Rub My Duckie" vibrator
  1. Which would you rather bring into bed with you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This "Death by Orgasm" scorpion vibrator
    Via lovehoney.co.uk
    This "Death by Orgasm" scorpion vibrator
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This not-at-all-creepy clown vibrator
    Via amazon.com
    This not-at-all-creepy clown vibrator
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Which would you rather bring into bed with you?
  1. This
     
    vote votes
    This "Death by Orgasm" scorpion vibrator
  2. This not-at-all-creepy clown vibrator
     
    vote votes
    This not-at-all-creepy clown vibrator
  1. Which would you rather sit on?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This whimsical "Double Magic Ball" with two insertable dildos
    Via amazon.com
    This whimsical "Double Magic Ball" with two insertable dildos
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This pointy "Cone Vibrator"
    Via amazon.com
    This pointy "Cone Vibrator"
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Which would you rather sit on?
  1. This whimsical
     
    vote votes
    This whimsical "Double Magic Ball" with two insertable dildos
  2. This pointy
     
    vote votes
    This pointy "Cone Vibrator"
  1. Which love doll would you rather get it on with?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This Justin Bieber-inspired "Just-In Beaver"
    Via amazon.com
    This Justin Bieber-inspired "Just-In Beaver"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This three-boobed Area 51 beauty with three out-of-this-world holes
    Via amazon.com
    This three-boobed Area 51 beauty with three out-of-this-world holes
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Which love doll would you rather get it on with?
  1. This Justin Bieber-inspired
     
    vote votes
    This Justin Bieber-inspired "Just-In Beaver"
  2. This three-boobed Area 51 beauty with three out-of-this-world holes
     
    vote votes
    This three-boobed Area 51 beauty with three out-of-this-world holes
  1. How would you rather have some all-American fun?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This double-ended "Fantasy Football Stroker"
    Via firehottoys.com
    This double-ended "Fantasy Football Stroker"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    This fuckable "Footlong Stroker" hotdog
    Via screwysextoys.com
    This fuckable "Footlong Stroker" hotdog
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How would you rather have some all-American fun?
  1. This double-ended
     
    vote votes
    This double-ended "Fantasy Football Stroker"
  2. This fuckable
     
    vote votes
    This fuckable "Footlong Stroker" hotdog
  1. Which giant dong would you prefer?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The footlong "Great American Challenge"
    Via lovehoney.co.uk
    The footlong "Great American Challenge"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The 15-inch Orca dildo, which will have you "swimming in a sea of lust"
    Via exotic-erotics.com
    The 15-inch Orca dildo, which will have you "swimming in a sea of lust"
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Which giant dong would you prefer?
  1. The footlong
     
    vote votes
    The footlong "Great American Challenge"
  2. The 15-inch Orca dildo, which will have you
     
    vote votes
    The 15-inch Orca dildo, which will have you "swimming in a sea of lust"
  1. Which, uh...just...which one?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    This "Ovipositor," which ejaculates alien eggs into you
    Via primalhardwere.com
    This "Ovipositor," which ejaculates alien eggs into you
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Enema Pants," which allow you to have an enema with your own pee
    Via bondagefetishstore.com
    "Enema Pants," which allow you to have an enema with your own pee
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Which, uh...just...which one?
  1. This
     
    vote votes
    This "Ovipositor," which ejaculates alien eggs into you
  2.  
    vote votes
    "Enema Pants," which allow you to have an enema with your own pee
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