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18 Orgasms You've Probably Had If You Have A Vagina

"Was that pee or did I squirt?" —you, after an orgasm

1. The "WTF Just Happened" Orgasm

NBC / Via

AKA your first orgasm ever. Maybe you were exploring innocently. Maybe you accidentally caused some friction. Maybe you'd been waiting forever and finally found the right toy or partner or maneuver. Whatever it was, IT CAME AND IT FELT AWESOME.

2. The "Almost... Almost... Almost... Almost..." Orgasm

Twitter: @Lezzielips

This orgasm fakes you out several times before finally showing up. By the time it does, you're mostly over it, tbh.

3. The "Thrasher" Orgasm

This orgasm is a switch for any convulsion your body is capable of — so be careful, because you might accidentally kick someone in the face or nearly suffocate them between your thighs like a vise. But...worth it.

4. The "Too Late to Skip This Part of the Porn" Orgasm

Zee TV / Via

It's almost like this orgasm TRIES to pop up at the most inopportune time. The video you're watching switches to an unsavory angle or some kink you're not down for pops up, but you're THISCLOSE so you're not exactly going to STOP. So yup, you suck it up and finish.

5. The "Sorry But There's No Way I Can Look Cute Right Now" Orgasm

DreamWorks / Via

Sometimes, you put in marginal effort to look not-grotesque when you're coming, but NOT WITH THIS ORGASM. It hijacks every part of your face and demands you look as gross as possible. You may be a scrunchy-faced beast, but that's the price you pay for pleasure.

6. The "Just Let Me Do It" Orgasm

Wavebreakmedia / Getty Images

Partnered sex is great and all, but no one knows your body like you do. And there are times when an orgasm feels juuust out of reach, so you take the damn reins yourself and welcome that smug bastard into the world.

7. The "I'm Bored So I Might As Well" Orgasm

3 Arts Entertainment / Via

It's not the most passionate of orgasms, but sometimes you've got some time to kill and two hands, so...

8. The "Why Have I Been Bothering With Penetration?" Orgasm

Twitter: @imteddybless

That awkward moment when you have a clitoral orgasm so good, you can't help but wonder why the fuck you've been trying it any other way. The clit is it.

9. The "World Record" Orgasm / Via


10. The "Thank You, Come Again" Fake Orgasm

Columbia Pictures / Via

Look, sometimes an orgasm just isn't happening, but when your partner usually has the magic touch and has made such a good effort, a fake orgasm doesn't feel like a bad idea. It's like a nice encouraging thank-you card for their hard work!!

11. The “Holy Shit Where Did That Come From” Orgasm

Varsity Pictures / Via

This sneaky orgasm doesn’t need an introduction. It just shows up whenever it wants to with horns blaring. It might make you jump, but it’s not exactly an unwanted surprise.

12. The "Wake the Neighbors" Orgasm

Warner Bros. / Via

This orgasm rattles the vocal cords (and headboard and box spring) of even the most quiet humans.

13. The "Was That Pee or Did I Squirt?" Orgasm

Disney / Via

You came and there was some sort of bodily fluid involved but WHAT WAS IT?

(Spoiler alert, btw: Squirting is basically pee, so the answer is BOTH.)

14. The "Stop Whatever You're Doing and Die" Orgasm

NBC / Via

This orgasm will show up, but only if you continue EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING DON'T CHANGE A THING SO HELP ME GOD.

15. The "So Soft You Nearly Missed It" Orgasm / Via

The gentlest of orgasms. If orgasms are like sneezes, then this one is like that one chick with a dainty little rabbit sneeze that makes everyone say, "Omg, is that your REAL SNEEZE? It's so cute!"

16. The "Might as Well Be a Bottle Of ZzzQuil" Orgasm

Hulu / Via

Once this orgasm's over, you're out like a goddamn light. Sweet dreams.

17. The "Bonus" Orgasm

FOX / Via

You thought you were done after one? Or two? Nope. Have an extra.

18. And finally, THE BEST ORGASM EVER.

Whatever that means to you. You know the one.

  1. So, have you had any of these orgasms?

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So, have you had any of these orgasms?
    vote votes
    Yep, all of them
    vote votes
    Most of them, yeah
    vote votes
    Only a few
    vote votes
    No, the writer of this post clearly has never had an orgasm in her life
    vote votes
    No, I haven't had any type of orgasm before
    vote votes
    Actually, I'm just a person with a penis here out of curiosity

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