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24 Seriously Annoying Things That Happen In Every Sex Scene

So. Much. Rolling.

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We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community about the things that annoy them the most in sex scenes in movies and TV shows. Here are the worst offenders.

Heads up: These responses mostly refer to heterosexual sex between cisgender men and women — because the representation of LGBT sex onscreen is a whole other can of worms.

1. First of all, no one ever talks about protection or birth control, because apparently pregnancy and STIs are not a concern.

Paramount Pictures / Via buzzfeed.com

Is every woman on the pill? Is it just assumed that every couple discusses their STI statuses in between the hot and heavy groping session in the elevator on the way to have passionate wordless sex in the protagonist's apartment?

amazingrando

2. And no one talks about what they want at all. Everyone just communicates through lusty eye contact and ~knows~ immediately what the other person likes.

4. Removing clothes is always easy and sexy, instead of being the MOST TEDIOUS AWKWARD PART.

Fox / Via buzzfeed.com

If it's not full-on stripping, it's perfectly choreographed frantic ripping and throwing on the way to the bed. YEAH, SURE.

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5. Ditto with making shower sex look like it's sooo easy rather than a TOTAL LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE.

ABC / Via buzzfeed.com

Somehow, no one accidentally trips or winds up cold outside the stream of water. Because MAGIC.

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8. And guys are always able to enter their partner in one swift movement.

Starz / Via buzzfeed.com

Because yeah, it's always as easy as one thrust for the penis to magically find the vagina. No fumbling or guidance needed.

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9. The couple is always perfectly face-to-face, even when there's an obvious height difference.

Paramount Pictures / Via painfulblisss.tumblr.com

Like, I get that ~intense eye contact~ is all cinematic, but how on earth are they achieving penetration when they're at eye level with each other? NO DICK IS LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT DISTANCE.

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10. Lube simply does not exist.

Columbia Pictures / Via imgur.com

You'd think they'd need it since there's never any foreplay, but I guess movie and TV characters are a bunch of fucking masochists who like dry penetration.

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14. No one laughs, ever. Instead, sex has to be Incredibly Serious and Intense at all times.

Netflix / Via buzzfeed.com

No giggling at accidental gaffs like head bumps or falling off the bed or screwing up a position change. No laughing fits. NOTHING.

olliemolly

20. That one moment when sex is over and both characters fall back against the pillows in simultaneous satisfaction.

Yevbel / Giphy / Via giphy.com

Like, what were they doing? Sitting at the end of the bed together? What position makes this possible????

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22. After sex, the dreaded postcoital L-shaped sheet formation makes an appearance.

Castle Rock Entertainment / Via weheartit.com

YOU KNOW, when somehow, the sheet is perfectly arranged to be covering the woman's chest and the man's groin, but while still showing off his impeccable chest.

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24. And lastly, this scene that is just so fucking universal it hurts:

20th Century Fox / Via youtube.com

A man and a woman. They give each other some look at a bar or restaurant. It may involve a wink or seductively sucking down a drink. Then, inevitably, there's a cut to them bursting into their apartment making out or banging. Every. Damn. Time.

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