We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community about the things that annoy them the most in sex scenes in movies and TV shows. Here are the worst offenders.
Heads up: These responses mostly refer to heterosexual sex between cisgender men and women — because the representation of LGBT sex onscreen is a whole other can of worms.
1. First of all, no one ever talks about protection or birth control, because apparently pregnancy and STIs are not a concern.
2. And no one talks about what they want at all. Everyone just communicates through lusty eye contact and ~knows~ immediately what the other person likes.
3. In fact, nobody seems to be worried about consent in general. It's just kind of assumed everyone wants sex all the time.
4. Removing clothes is always easy and sexy, instead of being the MOST TEDIOUS AWKWARD PART.
5. Ditto with making shower sex look like it's sooo easy rather than a TOTAL LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE.
6. Women always have cute matching lingerie on, even if the sex was spontaneous.
7. Everyone just skips the foreplay, and yet all parties are just READY TO GO immediately.
8. And guys are always able to enter their partner in one swift movement.
9. The couple is always perfectly face-to-face, even when there's an obvious height difference.
10. Lube simply does not exist.
11. And neither do sweat glands, apparently, because people manage to have wildly athletic sex without breaking a sweat.
12. Everyone moans like their life depends on it.
13. It's super easy to make women orgasm through like 30 seconds of penetrative missionary sex.
14. No one laughs, ever. Instead, sex has to be Incredibly Serious and Intense at all times.
15. Ditto with hilarious bodily noises like queefs or farts or the slap of skin. NONEXISTENT.
16. The main sexual move appears to be rolling around together while seemingly not actually having sex.
17. Women always keep their bras on — or get back into their bra and panties, like, immediately after sex.
18. Orgasms are always simultaneous, obviously.
19. And on that note, everyone always comes.
20. That one moment when sex is over and both characters fall back against the pillows in simultaneous satisfaction.
21. Everyone's hair and makeup is always on point after the deed is done.
22. After sex, the dreaded postcoital L-shaped sheet formation makes an appearance.
23. Afterwards, there's never any cleanup and no one pees. Just STRAIGHT TO BED.
24. And lastly, this scene that is just so fucking universal it hurts:
