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17 Sex Horror Stories That Will Make You Say "Holy Shit Are They Okay?"

NOPE.

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We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the most hilarious, horrific, and weird things that have ever happened during an orgasm.

And they DELIVERED.

1. The accidental threesome:

johannamas0n.tumblr.com

My girlfriend's dog (like many mutts) really loved the "scent" of her neither regions. Chewing on underwear, rooting around in the bathroom garbage — you get the picture.

One night, we were in missionary position with her legs up on my shoulders. Just as we were both in the throes of orgasm, her dog, who had apparently snuck up on the bed, jammed his cold little nose right up between my cheeks as I was finishing.

The dog and I never spoke of this event but I always felt him looking at me with a little too much affection after that fated night.

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2. The special delivery:

Columbia Pictures / Via buzzfeed.com

I was super hungover and I ordered GrubHub. It said it would take 45 minutes so I decided to masturbate. The front door was locked but the security screen was there just so I can hear when GrubHub comes. Well, as soon as I came I screamed, "Yes!" and then I heard, "I love it when our customers are happy to see us." Turns out the moment I came so did my food.

michelek11

3. The eye-opening experience:

NBC / Via twodumbgirls.tumblr.com

This one time my boyfriend and I had one of the most mindblowing orgasms and sex that we had ever had. However immediately after that, I went legit blind in one eye and had half my eyesight in the other. It went away after about 15 minutes. I thought my retina was torn!

When I went to see the eye doc and asked about that, he said I probably had an ocular migraine, but because of the endorphins I had after sex I didn’t get the pain part of it.

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4. The dirty double date:

The Carsey-Werner Company

I was on a fourth date with this girl, and she was a friend’s sister. We went to dinner. Little did I know that my friend and his girlfriend would be joining.

So, in the middle of a Chili’s, this girl grabs my junk and starts cranking away. In the middle of all of this, with her free hand, she texts me, “Let me know when you’re about to come.” I read the message and I told her. She then pointed my dick downwards and I came on the floor. Or so I thought. My friend’s girlfriend, who is now his wife, leaves the table and I swear to God, she says, “Damnit, I got potatoes on my shoes.”

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5. The suppertime surprise:

Disney / Via reddit.com

When I was younger (about 11) I would go out into the hot tub at home after swim practices because the pool was so cold. By this time I discovered the jets in that way. So right as I was about to finish, my dad walks out and starts to talk to me so I’m trying to hold my face still as my dad asks me about whether I wanted mac and cheese for dinner or chicken nuggets.

—Anonymous

6. The TIIIIIMBEER:

Hulu / Via giphy.com

After a particularly intense session with my fiancé, I hopped off the bed to clean myself up and collapsed onto the floor. My legs were still shaky and not cooperating. He's laughing, I'm laughing — then I pee myself.

oliviajk42

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7. The unexpected reaction:

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My boyfriend was going down on me for the first time and instead of having an orgasm, I had a full-blown panic attack. He had no idea what was going on and thought I was enjoying it, until I kicked him in the head. We have been dating for nine months now and he is still timid when it comes to eating me out.

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8. The pain that was oh-so-worth it:

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One time I had a VERY intense orgasm while using my vibrator, and ended up kneeing myself in the face which resulted in a very messy bloody nose. Still no regrets though.

smhoman

9. The curious critter:

reddit.com

I was once "flicking the bean" in bed under the covers. Little did I know, my hand shaking under the covers had gotten the attention of my kitten. Right as I reached an orgasm, he pounced on my hand/bean. I'm sad to say he's still the only man to ever give me an orgasm.

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10. The little white lie:

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I was jerking my gherkin in my room, sitting at my desk, with the trash can next to me. When I went to come, I ended up pissing in the trash can. The next day, I forgot to take out my trash. My mom had to do it for me, and she asked me why there was solid liquid at the bottom. I had to tell her that I had spilled water in the trash can. FML.

pringlea

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12. The after-O surprise:

The Lonely Island / Via imgur.com

When my boyfriend and I were still in the early months of dating, we were doing it missionary style. Right after he came, he let out a huge fart.

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13. The feeling best expressed in song:

Disney / Via giphy.com

My then-boyfriend (current fiancé) made me orgasm so hard I started crying and singing "The Circle of Life" from Lion King. Still don't know why a kid's movie came to mind.

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14. The splash zone:

funk / Via giphy.com

Was doing anal with my ex once, and we decided to record it and watch it after. I came in her ass and brought the phone up real close to film it drip. Well, sometimes air gets pushed in there and she farted air. Before I could even dodge, I had my own cum shot at my face. Thankfully the phone caught most of it.

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15. The baffling birth:

Universal Pictures / Via buzzfeed.com

I had an orgasm while in the middle of giving birth to my daughter in the delivery room. The contractions were so strong that each time I had one, my vagina muscles would contract over and over. By the time it was time to deliver I ended up squirting in the doctor's face. That lasted for roughly a minute and a half. When I started to push, I started to pee as well. The doctor was covered and in shock because it happened so fast. To this day I wonder how long it took him to wash up after he was done with my delivery.

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16. The big freeze:

Universal Pictures / Via gifimage.net

My girlfriend was eating me out and I'm still not sure what happened, but before I knew it, she was frantically asking me what was wrong. I told her I was fine but as soon as I spoke, I realized my face was numb and I couldn't move my lips. Turns out I had fainted while coming and froze my face in a permanent O-face.

magdelinev

17. The dream:

Hulu / Via giphy.com

I stayed in the same room as my brother while my aunt and her boyfriend were outside the door. Had a sex dream and I think I might've moaned really loudly in the middle of the night and woke my brother...and possibly my aunt.

irishpink

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