1. You wake up to discover that a mysterious anonymous billionaire paid off all your student loans.
2. You get this phone call: "Good news! We'd like to pay you a hefty sum of money to do the thing you're wildly passionate about."
3. From there, you move into a beautiful well-sized apartment with the exact number of roommates you want.
4. And those roommates are lovely, sane people.
5. Unless you want to live alone, in which case, you always feel safe and secure, with ZERO CHANCE of murderous home invaders or spooky ghosts.
6. Either way, your home is decorated perfectly with furniture that you definitely didn't have to put together yourself.
7. In the corner is your dream pet of choice, which you are geographically and financially stable enough to own.
8. Your job never requires you to pull weird hours, and your work-life balance is flawless.
9. You are never lonely, because all of your friends from school miraculously live in the exact same city as you.
10. And if they don't, traveling to see them is no issue at all, thanks to your well-paying job with flexible hours.
11. Of course, when you want to make new friends, it's incredibly simple and easy. Not at all a three-ring shitshow of desperation and weird meet-up groups.
12. You have a wealth of free time to explore new hobbies and learn new skills, just because.
13. You can also afford your own personal chef whose unique specialty is calorie-free bacon that helps you live longer.
14. Come tax season, you can afford to pay someone to do them for you so you never have to figure out how they actually work.
15. And one day, you wake up blessed with the knowledge of what a 401(k) really is.
16. You never have to make your own doctors' appointments. Your doctor just makes an appointment with you when they sense something is wrong.
17. Your friend always knows the perfect person to set you up with so you don't have to wade through the mirror selfie hellscape that is Tinder.
18. You can finally thank your parents or loved ones for any sacrifices they've made for you by paying off their debts and buying them lavish but deeply personal gifts.
19. No one asks you where you see yourself in five years, because it is 100% acceptable to be exploring, experimenting, and enjoying yourself.
20. And no one ever uses the term millennial ever again.
Brb, taking a cold shower.That did nothing for me.You just described my awesome life and I can't wait to bathe in all your jealous tears.Actually, now I'm just depressed because you reminded me that hoping for basic financial stability and professional/personal fulfillment is a distant fantasy. THANKS A LOT, BUZZFEED.
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So, how turned on are you rn?
vote votesBrb, taking a cold shower.
vote votesThat did nothing for me.
vote votesYou just described my awesome life and I can't wait to bathe in all your jealous tears.
vote votesActually, now I'm just depressed because you reminded me that hoping for basic financial stability and professional/personal fulfillment is a distant fantasy. THANKS A LOT, BUZZFEED.