1. Google Self-Diagnosis Ocusfocus / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com Be the fastest person to input your symptoms and arrive at a deadly diagnosis and that gold is yours. 2. Politely Enraged Nodding Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images Only advanced competitors can pull off smiling through advice like, "Just meditate!" Or better yet, "Relax!" 3. Endurance Overthinking thinkstockphotos.com First one whose mind stops running in irrational circles over nothing LOSES. 4. Avoidant Napping Thomas Northcut / Getty Images It may require some heavy lifting, but a true champion can sleep through pressing anxieties for hours at a time. 5. Casual Plan Cancelation thinkstockphotos.com Masters of this sport can craft the perfect ~breezy~ excuse for why you can't go out, when really, you'll be staying home to be ANXIOUS and replay all the most embarrassing moments of your life OVER AND OVER until sleep finally takes you. 6. Imagining The Worst Possible Scenario Gabriela Medina / Getty Images The closer the inside of your head is to a daily showing of Final Destination, the closer you are to the gold. 7. Anxiety-Procrastination Cycling Huntstock / Getty Images Anxiously putting off your tasks long enough that you wind up having have a full-blown meltdown — then anxiously finishing everything anyway. 8. Running From Your Problems thinkstockphotos.com Whoever can outrun their anxious thoughts the fastest wins! 9. Counterintuitive Meditation John Lund / Getty Images Anyone who can battle through racing thoughts while meditating deserves a damn medal, tbh. 10. Inappropriate Sweating Mark Deibert / Getty Images Biggest stain wins. Mollie Shafer-Schweig / Via BuzzFeed The Opening Ceremony begins Friday, Aug. 5, at 7:30 p.m. ET/6:30 CT on NBC. Click here for more Olympics content!