back to top
Health

No Joke, These Sex Toys Got Me Through 2017

Tbh, these are the best vibrators, butt plugs, and dildos in my sex toy drawer this year.

Posted on

Hi! I'm Anna and like plenty of people, I love to orgasm, and like many people with vaginas, orgasming is a lot easier (or at least more convenient) with the help of sex toys.

Anna Borges / BuzzFeed

I'm also someone whose job it is to write about sex and consequently, I get sent a lot of sex toys. Needless to say, I have developed a kind of a sex toy hoarding habit and have tried my fair share of sex toys and have opinions about them.

But even with a well-stocked sex toy drawer, I find myself returning to the same rotating cast of reliable oldies but goodies. So I figured it was about time I recommended the favorites that brought me pleasure during this hellish year.

BIG OL' DISCLAIMER: Most of these were provided to me for free. BUT I was under no obligation to write a review, let alone a positive review. These are all actually toys that I love, use regularly, and genuinely would be willing to buy myself.

Advertisement

1. The Doc Johnson iRipple, which is a rumbly G-spot god *and* actually hits my clitoris in a way rabbit vibrators haven't.

Doc Johnson

Doc Johnson hadn't really been on my radar as a go-to sex toy company, but while I was sleeping on them, they really pumped out several amazing new sex toys. The iRipple is, no joke, my favorite sex toy of the year.

It's got three separate motors and listen, it’s intense. Internal vibration has never been a must for me (the clit is it, and all that), but between the shape, which is like a finger curling inside you but better, and the quality of the vibrations, I'm a believer. Right before I turn it on, I'm always like, "There's no way the vibrations feel as visceral and rumbly and good as I'm remembering. Prepare for disappointment." BUT THEN THEY ALWAYS DO. One of the vibration patterns, a steady drumbeat pulse, honestly makes the toy feel like it’s thrusting inside you without actually having to move it.

Not to mention, it's got a *little* nub that actually lines up with my anatomy, so I can get inner and external stimulation at the same time. Of course, everyone is different, but if you've been disappointed by rabbit vibrators and always wind up feeling like you're stabbing your clitoris when you try to use them, the iRipple might be worth a shot.

Get it on Shop Doc Johnson for $79.99.

2. The We-Vibe Touch, a delightfully simple clit vibe with a great shape and even better vibrations.

We-Vibe

So, when it comes to vibrations, I’m pretty demanding — I like a specific kind of ~rumbly deep~ vibration and tbh, I usually lean into the more powerful settings that aren’t for the faint of heart/clitoris. I’ve got my old faithful Magic Wand Rechargeable, which sets the standard for strong vibrations, and a lot of the time, other external vibrators are too buzzy, too weak, too ticklish in comparison. THAT SAID, the Magic Wand is an industrial beast to navigate sometimes, and so I’m always on the hunt for something smaller that will rise to the occasion.

THE WE-VIBE TOUCH IS THAT TOY. It packs a lot of punch for a vibe that fits in the palm of your hand (really comfortably, I might add, thanks to the silky matte silicone). No, it’s not as good as some of my bigger wand toys, but when you don’t feel like hefting those around, it’s a satisfying alternative.

On top of the vibrations, it’s got a pointed tip and an indentation on the underside, so you have the option of more targeted stimulation *and* diffuse pressure. And it’s always nice to have the option of ~switching it up~.

Get it on Amazon for $50.88.

3. The Dame Fin, which is a versatile vibe you wear between your fingers and that makes sex toy play feel really natural and intimate.

Dame Products

I don't believe that sex toys are inherently less intimate, but there is something to being able to control touch and vibration with the same dexterity as your fingers. You can adjust pressure and speed of your touch more naturally which, on top of making it feel more intuitive, also makes it less obtrusive during P-in-V or S(trap-on)-in-V sex.

Admittedly, that’s the toy’s main selling point. Beyond that, it’s pretty simple — three vibration speeds, no patterns, not the deepest vibrations out there, and not as quiet as I’d prefer. BUT I still highly recommend it if you’re looking for a finger vibe because what it does well, it does really well.

Get it from Dame for $75.

4. The b-Vibe Rimming Plug Petite, which uses rotating beads in the neck of the plug to simulate rimming.

b-Vibe

I like butt stuff, but I'm mostly still a novice when it comes to penetration, which means there’s not a ton of variety when it comes to anal toys that are in my wheelhouse. Actually, there’s not a *ton* of innovation when it comes to butt toys in general, so when I heard there was a plug that also simulated rimming, I called one in to try immediately. But at the time, the Petite version wasn't yet in existence, and THIS IS WHAT I GOT:

Anna Borges

Needless to say, this isn’t a beginner plug, so I put my partner-free rimming dreams to rest. BUT THEN, b-Vibe came out with the Petite. It arrived, was a lot less intimidating, and it delivered.

So does it actually feel like rimming? Not really, but it's still a markedly different sensation than a plug that just has a vibrator in the stem, and oh man, it really is shudderingly good.

Get it on b-Vibe for $145. (THOUGH, at the time of publication, you can also get it on sale on GroupOn for $119.99.)

Advertisement

5. The Doc Johnson iWand, which is a perfectly-sized wand toy that warms up, but not in a scary way.

Doc Johnson

The iWand is another toy in the Doc Johnson iVibe line (like the iRipple above) that gets a notable mention. It’s a warming wand massager that I was slightly worried would melt my clitoris off (I don't trust warming toys), but that actually turned out to be the perfect toy for a cold winter night when my defunct radiator isn't working. You don’t often get the option of temperature play with vibrators, since it’s more common in dildos made of materials like metal or glass that retain heat or cold, so the iWand provides an *excellent* combination.

Other than that, it’s not super fancy and doesn’t boast above-and-beyond orgasm-causing bells and whistles, but it’s not too big and not too small (a blessing in a wand vibe, since most of them are just hulking) and hey, sometimes it’s just nice to have a little vibrating heat on your vulva. Or, if I’m being honest, your sore shoulders and back. IT’S MULTI-PURPOSE, OKAY.

Get it on She Vibe for $89.99.

6. The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe, which is a suctiony little orgasm machine that requires basically no work.

Satisfyer

There are several different Satisfyers to choose from, and I've tried them all. The Pro Deluxe remains my go-to because I prefer the round grip, as opposed to having to hold a handle, which can be a little awkward to line up. But with any Satisfyer product, you'll get the same function: an oral sex-simulating ~pressure waves~ unlike the feeling you get from a vibrator.

I'm not joking when I say this thing requires no work. With vibrators, I can get over stimulated, so I usually wind up having to do a little bit of recalibrating. But with this thing, no joke, you can just line it up on your clitoris and then lie back and wait. I won't lie, for me personally, the Satisfyer-induced orgasm can be a little...boring? There's something sterile and un-sensual about how easy it is — BUT it's on the list because, listen, some nights you don't want to have to work for it, and a guaranteed orgasm is a guaranteed orgasm.

That said, if you want to switch things up, I found that laying on my stomach with this between my legs and clenching and unclenching my thighs made the toy even more enjoyable for me. JUST A TIP.

Get it from Satisfyer for $49.95.

7. The NJoy Pure Wand, which is the toy that convinced me everyone should have metal in their sex toy drawer and is also the first toy to make me squirt.

nJoy

This toy is pretty legendary, so I’m mostly here to tell you that what you’ve heard is true. This pound and a half of medical-grade stainless steel is the MVP of G-spot stimulation. It will rock against your G-spot and teach you new levels of satisfaction. Seriously. Depending on what you like — specifically, how much G-spot endurance you have — you can work it by lightly tapping it and actually thrusting it or something in between, and the stimulation you get will range from “intense and unrelenting pleasure” to “MORE intense and unrelenting pleasure.”

You probably think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. I WILL admit that it’s probably not like this for everyone, but from my observations, a common Pure Wand experience is:

Step one: Doubting its power

Step two: Trying it out of curiosity

Step three: Having your world/G-spot rocked

The person who recommended the Pure Wand to me said the same thing: you just have to experience it for yourself because it’s mostly beyond words. So, I’ll say this: If you’re a fan of G-spot stimulation or feel that a penetrative orgasm is an elusive, imaginary beast, the Pure Wand is probably worth the hype.

Get it on Amazon for $79.95.

Here's to another year of drowning out existential dread with orgasms!

Promoted