1. To all you trendy hipster farm-to-table restaurants out there, we need to talk.
2. We know you want to be creative.
3. You want to be cute.
4. You want to be funny.
5. And provocative.
6. You're doing it all **ironically**. We know.
7. But like, can we level with you?
8. Can we let you all in on a secret?
9. There's this thing that makes eating out way more enjoyable...
10. And just all-around easier...
11. And it's called TABLEWARE.
12. You know, like plates?
13. And normal bowls?
14. Instead of vintage irons?
15. And like, this m-f-ing umbrella??
16. And gardening tools?
17. It would just be like...nice, ya know?
18. To eat off a normal platter...
19. And drink out of normal glasses.
20. And like, have an actual cheese **board**?
21. Please just...give us silverware.
22. And normal cups...
23. Because we promise, tableware is NOT overrated.
24. If anything, it's not nearly appropriately rated.
25. We're not asking for much in this life, people.
26. We're just a couple of hungry people...
27. Standing before the world...
28. And asking if we can please...
29. Just, please...
30. Pretty, pretty please...
31. Can we have normal containers for food?
32. And...not doggie bowls?
33. Or...skull glasses?
34. Until then, I guess we'll be *checks menu* getting our tetanus shots, eh?
So, is your pulse up to speed already or can you still take these posts?
This post was translated from German.