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Eggnog Is Delicious And If You Disagree You're Wrong

It is tasty and good and deserves our protection.

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It's time for a deeply divisive holiday beverage to receive a long overdue ode...eggnog.

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Eggnog is undeserving of any hostility.

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It it tasty. It is pure. It exists to thaw the ice that forms in our hearts as we march through winter, and to make us Feel Good.

Its tastiness is partially objective. According to basic laws of addition, when you combine several delicious things together, you get an even more delicious thing.

The ingredients in eggnog are great on their own, but together? Egg-squisite. Also, boom, science.
Aninata / Getty Images

The ingredients in eggnog are great on their own, but together? Egg-squisite. Also, boom, science.

Much of eggnog's appeal is in its transience.

For almost 230 days out of the year, it exists only as a oft-forgotten relic in the mythos of yuletide pantheon.
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For almost 230 days out of the year, it exists only as a oft-forgotten relic in the mythos of yuletide pantheon.

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But every year, eggnog is summoned back into being in a flurry of good will and holiday cheer, only losing its grip on its temporal state when we're sick of it.

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Is that not the definition of magic?

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Eggnog is a drink to be sipped, and its rich, frothy texture demands that you savor it.

In this small way, it tethers us to a here and a now that might otherwise be lost in an end-of-year blur.
Greenartphotography / Getty Images

In this small way, it tethers us to a here and a now that might otherwise be lost in an end-of-year blur.

You can booze it up, or leave it alone.

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You can garnish it with cinnamon sticks or candy canes.

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You can even drink it in a latte, or frost your cookies with it like Taytay.

Whether you're trying to play naughty or nice, eggnog gives you enough options to satisfy a need for choice without being overwhelming.

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So lovers of eggnog, protect this beverage. Cradle it in your arms, and let no one shame you for enjoying a cup of pure, holiday essence.

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For those on the fence, hopefully you've heard the gospel and are now ready to accept eggnog into your hearts.

Nickelodeon / Via ilove-christmas.tumblr.com

And to all the eggnog haters, #bye.

Via giphy.com
  1. So how do you feel about eggnog?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Always loved it, always will.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'm willing to give it a second chance.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    It still disgusts me.
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So how do you feel about eggnog?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Always loved it, always will.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I'm willing to give it a second chance.
  3.  
    vote votes
    It still disgusts me.
 
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