1. A notification telling you if you should message first or wait for your match.
Nickelodeon
2. An error message alerting you that your match actually meant to swipe left.
Tinder / Nickelodeon
3. A way to determine whether or not they're just in it for some hanky-panky time...
Walt Disney Animation
Unless you also just want some hanky-panky time, in which case, GET IT.
4. ...or a way to determine if they're just in it for friendship.
MTV / Via giphy.com
DTF: Down To Friendship.
5. An automated response for whenever someone texts "dtf" with no introduction.
Via ugly-bread.tumblr.com
Yeah you bet I'm down to FUN FACT.
6. A section for disclosing pizza preferences.
This could save you a lot of heartbreak in the future.
7. Something that points out who your match is in group photos.
20th Century Fox Television
Ah, yes, you're situated in a sea of attractive people. Slick.
8. A horse photo generator for when people message you "hey."
Walt Disney Animation
"Hey." "Neigh."
9. A function that zooms out of peoples' torsos so you can see their faces.
CBS
Like Google Maps, but for the human body.
10. A filter that removes sunglasses.
Disney Pixar Animation / Via giphy.com
11. And maybe a filter that just removes all filters.
Girl, you don't need makeup.
12. A swivel chair filter that shows your matches from ALL their angles.
NBC
13. A meter that determines their beard-growing capacity.
Ranging from gentle meadow to full-on lumbersexual.
14. An in-app feature that reveals the person behind inanimate objects.
Unless you're into brick pics.
15. A lie detector that will determine whether or not the dog in their photo is actually theirs.
Is this a puppy, or a TRAP?
16. Soothing hold music that will lower your anxiety while you wait for them to respond.
New Line Cinema / Via giphy.com
It's 2015, apps should be able to materialize some lavender candles, too.
17. And then a feature that tells you WHY EXACTLY THEY HAVEN'T RESPONDED IN OVER AN HOUR.
Nickelodeon / Via giphy.com
Are they driving? Did their phone die? Do they just hate me? Oh god.
18. A counter that will tell you how many other people your match is talking to, once they finally respond.
Via giphy.com
19. Along with an emoji translator once you get into an actual conversation.
Netflix
Why did they send an eggplant next to a donut?
20. A feature that turns unsolicited nude pics into something a little less... fowl.
Netflix
Like a duck pic. Everyone should just send duck pics.
21. And maybe an alert to tell you to put down your phone and just watch Netflix with yourself.
HBO
