1. There is no such thing as a no-fee apartment.
DreamWorks / Via giphy.com
2. Brooklyn and Queens really do have more space...
3. ...and Manhattan really doesn't have any. At all.
View this video on YouTube
*Unless you're rich.
4. If a packed subway rolls by, and you see an empty car, you didn't just make an amazing discovery.
Walt Disney Pictures / Via dinahknowswhatswhat.tumblr.com
Stick with the herd.
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5. The subway doors can and will close on you.
6. If you're going to need to take the G, you might as well walk.
7. Amazingly, EVERYONE in New York lives off the WORST subway line.
Comedy Central / Via aimeej21.com
8. Houston Street is pronounced "how-ston," not "hew-ston."
BBC / Via tumblr.com
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9. A cab is only taking fares when the top is lit...
10. ...but even if the top is lit, that doesn't mean it will stop for you.
Via wifflegif.com
11. The Hudson River = Jersey. The East River = Brooklyn/Queens.
BBC / Via adeecodedlife.com
Also, the East River is EAST of Manhattan so, like, duh.
12. "East Williamsburg" is really just west Bushwick in disguise.
Via giphy.com
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13. LIC is not pronounced "lick."
14. At this point, Williamsburg really is just a caricature of itself.
15. Flatiron is both a building and a neighborhood.
Pixel-68/Pixel-68
16. The Verizon logo is a filthy scourge on an otherwise pristine Manhattan skyline.
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17. Calling someone "bridge and tunnel" is just about the worst insult there is.
Warner Bros. / Via ellen-degeneresfan.tumblr.com
18. French Bulldogs and Chihuahuas exist in inconceivable numbers.
They're heeeere.
19. As do rats.
20. Thrift stores are not just for the thrifty.
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21. Everyone single is on OkCupid...
HBO / Via buzzfeed.com
22. ...Or Tinder...
23. ...Or Grindr...
24. ...Or some other dating website/app/clandestine love portal.
Constantin Film / Via tumblr.com
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25. When in doubt, wear black.
20th Century Fox / Via come-as-you-are-world.tumblr.com
26. You will discuss the weather with no fewer than three people every day.
Fox / Via tumblr.com
27. When it's raining, moving from Starbucks to Starbucks is actually more efficient than carrying an umbrella.
28. You don't cook as much as you tell people you do.
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29. New York water is the best tasting water...
30. ...which is why New York bagels are the best tasting bagels!
Warner Bros. / Via theothertvblog.tumblr.com
31. Anything can be pickled.
The Pickle Guys NYC / Via pickleguys.com
32. Seamless is the best thing ever...
Warner Brothers / Via tumblr.com
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33. ...but will also be the cause of your ultimate demise.
Paramount Pictures / Via wordpress.com
34. Waiting in line is for losers...
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35. ...unless it's at Trader Joe's.
Universal Pictures / Via whatshouldnyucallme.tumblr.com
I mean...COOKIE BUTTER. AMIRIGHT?!
36. Whole Foods = Whole Paycheck.
NBC / Via latenightjimmy.tumblr.com
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37. Personal space is a rare privilege.
NBC / Via tumblr.com
38. Slow-walking tourists are the worst.
20th Century Fox / Via clinicallysane88.tumblr.com
39. People will push you, physically and mentally: Every. Single. Day.
Nickelodeon / Via tumblr.com
40. Despite being surrounded by millions of people 24/7, you will feel inexplicably lonely sometimes...
Walt Disney Pictures / Via giphy.com
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41. ...but at others, you'll marvel at just how many incredible people live in this city.
HBO / Via wifflegif.com
42. So, what are you waiting for?
43. You live in New York!
44. Now, go take over the world.
