1. There is no such thing as a no-fee apartment.
2. Brooklyn and Queens really do have more space...
3. ...and Manhattan really doesn't have any. At all.
4. If a packed subway rolls by, and you see an empty car, you didn't just make an amazing discovery.
5. The subway doors can and will close on you.
6. If you're going to need to take the G, you might as well walk.
7. Amazingly, EVERYONE in New York lives off the WORST subway line.
8. Houston Street is pronounced "how-ston," not "hew-ston."
9. A cab is only taking fares when the top is lit...
10. ...but even if the top is lit, that doesn't mean it will stop for you.
11. The Hudson River = Jersey. The East River = Brooklyn/Queens.
12. "East Williamsburg" is really just west Bushwick in disguise.
13. LIC is not pronounced "lick."
14. At this point, Williamsburg really is just a caricature of itself.
15. Flatiron is both a building and a neighborhood.
16. The Verizon logo is a filthy scourge on an otherwise pristine Manhattan skyline.
17. Calling someone "bridge and tunnel" is just about the worst insult there is.
18. French Bulldogs and Chihuahuas exist in inconceivable numbers.