I was nervous. This was my 1st time at public high school. I went to Catholic school from K-8 grades. I was crying all night dreading the 1st day. Only one boy from my school went with me. He was my close friend. Other than him I had no one. I never felt so lonely in my life. I kept thinking about the friends from Catholic school. Will they change? Will I recognize them? Will they recognize me if I ever saw them again? I kept thinking about them all throughout 9th grade. I really wanted to visit my Catholic school and see my teachers. I was quiet and cried a lot. No one really saw me crying. Maybe a few people. I was also an honors student. The pain of loneliness was probably what made me really focus on my school work and drawing. I was very bad at drawing then. I didn't really have friends since I was quiet and if I did make new friends I felt like I was betraying my old ones. I also didn't know what the other teens were like. I didn't know if I could trust them. They were nice but I just didn't want to hurt myself more. I was really into classic rock (and still am) along with other types of rock music. I didn't want anyone to know my favorite type of music since I was afraid they would mock it. At the same time I wanted to find some people to talk about classic rock with. I saw a guy wearing a band t-shirt. He was a senior and I was a freshman so I didn't really talk to him. But I somehow fell in love with him. Maybe it was how he looked. He seemed very nice which was probably why I loved him. Besides he had a girlfriend. She was small and beautiful. She was in 11th grade. I didn't want them to break up even though I had feelings for him. So I just looked at them. I was very happy for them though. They seemed to be happy together. Besides if we did go out it probably wouldn't last long. So at the end of 9th grade I felt better about myself and less sad. I did visit my old school which helped a lot. So this was 9th grade. The year of many beginnings.
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