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10 Reasons Why You Should Get A Lower Back Tattoo

Her favorite food is pasta with Parmesan and she likes to eat it as she’s falling asleep. She pretended to fall into a dirty pile to get out of running a mile in the gym and laid there until someone found her. She owns all the wine, but please send more. In her book, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy Schumer reveals her personal experiences and advice for all women. Heart wrenching, hilarious and relatable, her story is one you can’t stop reading. Here are 10 reasons why you must grab a copy of Amy Schumer’s empowering and gratifying book today. (Edited by Kirstin Redfield)

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1. You’re an Introvert


“Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy. It means you enjoy being alone. Not just enjoy it-you need it,” said Amy Schumer. For those of you that think spending time alone makes you a loner, it doesn’t. As an introvert herself, Schumer adds that there’s nothing wrong with separating yourself from your friends. “They give you life, sure, but they can also burn you and you will get that wrinkly Long Island cleavage [you’ve been trying to avoid].” Schumer advises that the “sunscreen” of alone time is necessary for introverts. Once you realize you are an introvert, Schumer writes that you can manage the quality and see it as a positive aspect in your life.

2. You’re a Product of Divorce


“Family is a constant negotiation,” admitted Schumer, a product of divorce. Compromising and making deals can weigh down on you, but remember that your parents aren’t perfect. They are flawed, just like you. In her book, Schumer explained that no matter what your parents put you through, realize they are people, “sad, human people.” If you have ever endured the turmoil of your two parents separating and have trouble forgiving them, Amy offers great insight on how to do so. Her parents raised her to be great, and she can’t thank them enough. “I am [now] someone who, ironically, places the highest value on being vulnerable, honest, and real.”

3. You’re from A Small Town


Ever feel sheltered by living in a small town? Growing up in the suburbs strengthened Schumer’s resolve to do big things in life due to the sheltering she felt by her hometown. She grew up in Long Island, in the suburbs of New York City. “I had to admire [NYC] from the far reaches of suburban Long Island for the rest of my childhood and teen years.” She grew up in a well to do family, and in Long Island, her work ethic and determination was founded. “Every summer when I came home from college, my sister and I bartended at the only bar in Long Beach and worked sixteen hour days.” Small towns encompass big dreams, and Schumer encourages readers to keep in mind those big city dreams when working those brutal sixteen hour days in the suburbs.

4. You’ve Endured Being “Vanilla Ice broke, before HGTV Ice”


“Check yourself, Amy, you are not Jay Z,” Schumer wrote about her “hustling” attitude growing up in Long Island. Throughout her life, Amy Schumer has worked in over a dozen bars or restaurants in Manhattan, as a house painter and even taught aerobics in college…where she claimed she resembled a blond Babadook. “I’d have the girls yell out the names of their ex-boyfriends or whomever they were mad at while they threw kicks and punches.” While pursuing her comedy career after college, she explained how she was “Vanilla Ice broke, before HGTV Ice” at this time in her life. Schumer writes that a good work ethic will get you far in life, and motivates her readers to never give up on their dreams. Whether you’re forced to paint an entire house, waitress or even teach an aerobics class, the hard work will pay off soon.

5. You’ve Gotten Black Out Drunk and Eaten a Papa Johns Frozen Pizza


Amy Schumer’s “notable” blackouts in college include the time she ate an entire Papa John’s pizza, ditched a cab, skinned her hands running from the cab and going home with some dude who owned more than two pit bulls—“which is the reddest flag there is.” Schumer explains the phenomena known as “blacking out” as when your brain rests but your body continues partying. Schumer stresses that drinking to the point of blackout may seem fun, but is ultimately unsafe. Having a drink or two won’t hurt, but she warns to stray away from the point of “blacking out.” “Don’t be cray.”

6. You’ve Dated a Guy Who Treated You Like S***


Have you ever dated a guy who made you feel like a piece of day old dog crap? Schumer thought she was happily in love herself with one of those guys. He passively said hurtful things to her, comparing her to ex-girlfriends, squeezing her arm too hard, even pissing on her legs and pushing her onto the hood of a parked car. In her book, Schumer lets all women know that they are not alone in this struggle, and they can get out of these situations. “When you’re in love with a man who hurts you, it’s a special kind of hell.” Schumer endured an abusive relationship herself and got out successfully. She reminds her readers to remember that abuse is not their fault nor should ever be excused, no matter the circumstances.

7. You’re Looking For a Career in Comedy


Amy Schumer’s first official gig was at the age of five where she played Gretl in The Sound of Music. After that performance, Schumer knew the stage life was for her. If you want to be the next Amy Schumer, her main tip is to get as much stage time as possible. “Even though the road can be brutal, it’s the only way to become a stand-up comedian.” Even if it’s for the thirty drunken Harley-Davidson guys at a VFW, Schumer stresses that variety leads to success in comedy. “Find a place with a stage and a mic and stand in front of people as much as possible.” Determination and persistency remain Amy’s words of wisdom to any future comics out there.

8. You’ve Been Misguided by Men’s Intentions


As a freshman in college at Towson University, Amy Schumer realized her witty attitude only worked with the cafeteria employees, whom she says she visited a bit too frequently. However, a “super senior” named Brett finally noticed her during her freshman year. He texted her one morning to come over and she couldn’t wait to hang out with him. But when she arrived at his place, he was wasted. While sitting on his bed he tried having sex with her, but ultimately he ended up falling asleep instead. “Even today, I can still be reduced to that lonely, vulnerable college freshman pretty quickly.” However, she also lets all women know to embrace that power and accept the vulnerability. “I am myself. I am amazing for you, not because of you.”

9. You Have a Parent with a Physical Illness


If you saw Amy Schumer’s movie Trainwreck, you watched her movie dad deal with multiple sclerosis (MS), just like her dad in real life. Anyone with a sick parent knows how hard it is to have hope. But as their child, it’s your duty to continue to be there for them. “I’d do anything for my dad. Buy him a lap dance, a lapdog, whatever it took.” Schumer writes of the struggles she dealt with her father, and the hopeful attitude she has towards the future. And, although we can’t make people laugh to the point of tears like Amy Schumer, we can make our parents feel good in our own special way.

10. You’re a Feminist


“I’m a real woman who digests her meals and breaks out and has sweet little pockets of cellulite on her upper thighs that I’m not apologizing for.” Empowering women to accept their beauty and love themselves for who they are remains an important stigma throughout The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo. Her overall message: stop hating and start loving yourself. At eighteen, Schumer got a lower back tattoo—now referred to as “the ugly tattoo.” However, the tattoo reminds her that it’s important to let yourself be vulnerable, to lose control and make a mistake. “Beautiful, ugly, funny, boring, smart or not, my vulnerability is my ultimate strength.” Schumer’s message ultimately inspires women and communicates that their weaknesses are actually their strengths.

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