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Which Depressing Bowl Of Sugary Cereal Should You Eat Tonight?

I got tears in my milk but I can't stop eating.

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  1. 1. How much did your parents praise you as a kid?

    Thinkstock
    Never...
    Rarely...
    Sometimes...but not enough.
    Only when I did something *really* good.
    Often.
    All the time!
  2. 2. How do you feel today?

    Like shit.
    Despondent.
    Meh.
    Tired but otherwise aight.
    Not the worst.
    I feel fine.
  3. 3. How much debt do you have?

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    A bunch.
    Lots. More than you, probably.
    More than I will ever be able to repay.
    A moderate amount. I'm OK with it.
    Not much, actually!
  4. 4. How's work?

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    Literally the worst.
    Work? I wish I could find a job.
    Each day I get closer to flipping my desk and storming out in a rage.
    Work is boring as fuck. Why do you think I'm taking this quiz?
    Work is OK.
    I like my job, it's fun.
  5. 5. How clean is your room right now?

    LOL, clean?
    I can't tell where one pile ends and another begins.
    It's more of a nest than a room tbh.
    It's a little messy but not the worst.
    It's actually pretty clean.
    It's spotless like always.
    What room?
  6. 6. How long has it been since you had sex?

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    A day or two.
    Weeks.
    Months.
    A year.
    I don't even remember.
    LOL.
  7. 7. How's your ex doing?

    IDK they blocked me on all social media.
    Fucking terrible, I hope.
    Eh, I'm sure they're fine.
    According to Facebook they're engaged and expecting.
  8. 8. Got any cool vacation plans for the summer, though?

    Thinkstock
    Are you kidding me? Like I can afford a vacation?
    Maybe going back to the shithole town where I was raised.
    Hopefully, if my asshole boss will let me.
    Maybe a good old-fashioned road trip.
    Yup! Just booked tickets to a tropical getaway.
  9. 9. When's the last time you had a good, home-cooked meal?

    Fuckin', years, man.
    Many moons, my friend.
    A few months at least.
    Not since my grandma passed, thanks for bringing it up.
    I cook pretty regularly actually.
    Last night.
  10. 10. When's the last time you went to the dentist?

    Thinkstock
    I get cleanings every six months like a good human.
    I haven't been for more than a year but I think my teeth are alright.
    It's been a while...I'm scared.
    It's been a few years and I'm sure my teeth are fucked but YOLO.

Which Depressing Bowl Of Sugary Cereal Should You Eat Tonight?

You got: Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

You have it rough, and you deserve the absolute best, sugariest cereal there is. This is peak cereal. It is a cereal made out of treats that are made out of cereal. It’s enough to distract you from the horrifying reality of existence for at least a few minutes. RKTC is hard to find, but you can get it at Walmart and on Amazon!

Rice Krispies Treats Cereal
walmart.com
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You got: Golden Grahams

You can ponder the list of those who have wronged you in the several minutes it takes for a bowl of Golden Grahams to get properly soggy.

Golden Grahams
amazon.com
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You got: Lucky Charms

Just eat the marshmallows and leave the other pieces, the same way you focus on the few, glimmering positives in life while being increasingly buried by insurmountable challenges and failures.

Lucky Charms
amazon.com
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You got: Reese's Puffs

Reese’s Puffs are the pinnacle of sweets innovation, and in your current state, it’s exactly what you need. Try a bowl with chocolate milk because you've given up all hope and only find solace by indulging in life's few and fleeting pleasures.

Reese's Puffs
amazon.com
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You got: Froot Loops

Your life is mediocre, so let’s just add to the malaise by pointing out that Froot Loops just taste like artificial lime flavoring, and thus, all artificial lime-flavored foods taste like Froot Loops. So the next time you’re eating “hint of lime” tortilla chips, you’ll think of Froot Loops, and you won’t know what to do with that revelation.

Froot Loops
amazon.com
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You got: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

You need the sugariest of the sugary cereals so you can use the momentary rush to finally get to all that work you've been putting off. Yeah, that's what you'll do.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch
amazon.com
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Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
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You got: Cocoa Pebbles

Your life is in a perpetual state of blah and you need as many sweet things as possible. Enter the tiniest possible cereal unit. It’s all about density in this milky chocolate mush coating the inside of your body.

Cocoa Pebbles
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You got: Honey-Comb

You're doing aight, but you still deserve the sweet, voluminous embrace of Honey-Comb — but the mild mouth-scraping of eating a bowl will remind you that all good things come with sacrifice.

Honey-Comb
walmart.com
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You got: Cookie Crisp

Honestly, things aren't too bad in your life and you could use a reality check. Here, eat a bowl of disappointingly hard-ass cookies that always looked better in commercials than they taste IRL.

Cookie Crisp
walmart.com
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