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    13 Things That Are Way Easier Now That You're An Adult

    "I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before." - Mitch Hedberg

    1. Tee Ball

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    I bet I could hit it over the fence, like, most of the time.

    2. Going to the bathroom.

    babycentre.co.uk

    Turns out it's not that hard (when you're sober).

    3. Grabbing something from a high shelf.

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    Nice try putting the cookie jar on top of the fridge, mom, but I'm almost six feet tall now.

    4. Math homework.

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    As an adult I know the best way to handle this is just to say, "Nah, I'd rather not."

    5. Spelling bee.

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    You can't trick me with that silent "C," Mrs. Johnson.

    6. Tying shoes.

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    Shit doesn't even faze me anymore, bro!

    7. Dressing yourself.

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    The zipper goes in the front. I've learned that much, at least.

    8. Telling the truth when you did you something wrong.

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    That's right, mom, I did eat all of the cake that you said not to touch, and there's nothing you can do about it. Because I'm 30.

    9. Recess.

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    I am literally never leaving the king's square in foursquare so don't even try me with your bullshit.

    10. Talking to a crush.

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    I would've had so much game if there were emojis when I was young, though.

    11. Getting McDonalds.

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    I don't need to ask anyone. I can spend my own $7.69.

    12. Driving

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    Then: begging your older sibling to drive you somewhere. Now: screaming obscenities at assholes driving in front of you.

    13. Not doing shit.

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    As a kid, you get bored or yelled at for not doing shit. As an adult, not doing shit is the greatest luxury you can have.

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