A while ago, I asked people to share some of the pettiest reasons they broke up with their significant others. I got a ton of responses, ranging from "IDK, that sounds pretty valid" to "Wow, you're a walking red flag."
So, because I love mess, I decided to round up some of the very best (aka worst) submissions so you can decide whether they are truly petty. Let's do this!
2. "Every time I touched her, I would smell of egg. Held hands? Egg. Hugged her? My shirt would smell of egg. When I broke it off, the egg smelling stopped."
3. "I called it quits with a guy I had been dating for three weeks because I literally had to teach him how to boil water. He was 29 years old and a civil engineer."
4. "I have an iPhone, and I broke up with a guy who has an Android because I can’t stand the green texts."
5. "I dumped a guy after the second date because he licked his eyeglasses to clean them."
6. "I once stopped dating someone when I found out he had a twin. I couldn’t handle the fact that someone looked exactly the same as him."
7. "I was a junior in high school; he was a senior. He skipped on a date at the park. He didn’t skip the date; he literally skipped — like, alternately hopped on one leg. I ended things."
8. "My friend refused to go on a date with a guy because the guy liked sushi. It didn’t matter that they wouldn’t be going to eat sushi (or a Japanese restaurant); he just couldn’t fathom going on a date with anyone who had, at one point or another in their life, eaten sushi."
10. "I stopped casually dating a guy because he took 30 minutes to decide which omelet he wanted at IHOP."
11. "I ended it with a guy because he always had eye boogers. I couldn't look at them anymore — all I saw was a future of me telling him to clean his eyes."
12. "I ended things with a guy because he was allergic to both cats and pine. I couldn't imagine a world in which I'd have to get rid of my cats or have a fake Christmas tree."
13. "I once broke up with a guy because he said John Mayer is the greatest musician of our generation.”
14. "I Ended It Because All The Words In Every Text He Sent Were Capitalized Like This. Trust Me, It Got ANNOYING."
15. "I went on a first date with a guy who couldn't parallel park in a spot twice the size of his car. I saved the space for him, and he wouldn't even attempt to do it. The date was over before it even began."
"I offered to guide him into the spot or do it for him, and he still refused. We ended up parking three blocks away, when I had scored him parking directly in front of the bar."
16. "I stopped dating him because he made bad tacos. I'm half Mexican, and he had the audacity to say he could make better tacos than I could. He used raw flour tortillas, shredded cheddar mix, shredded lettuce, and canned salsa. Umm...no thanks."
17. "I dated a guy for a few weeks until he decided to climb on the decor in the movie theater and jump off like he was a ninja. We were in our 20s."
18. "I broke up with this guy because, on the second date, he quoted the entirety of Bee Movie. He also hung up a mistletoe in his apartment and said it meant we had to kiss. It was April. He was 24."
19. "I once ended it with a guy when he picked me up and refused my GPS directions. I felt like we were going the wrong way, but he said he didn't need them. Needless to say, he went the wrong way for another five minutes until I definitively said, 'This is the wrong way; I’m going to give you the directions.'"
"Based on that, I assumed he is one of those people who can’t take advice well, so I never saw him again."
21. "I once stopped seeing someone because he didn’t like my lip gloss. I'm not giving my lip gloss up for some random I barely know."
22. "I couldn’t date someone who liked ketchup because I have an extreme aversion to ketchup — almost a phobia."
23. "I was on a date and he offered to do a cartwheel. I said I REALLY didn’t need to see him do that, and he did it anyway. I made my friend call me pretending to be my mother, and left immediately."