As always, the good folks of Reddit delivered. Here are 19 of the best, most bonkers answers:
1. "I had a woman I was flirting with tell me she couldn't date me because I hadn't gotten that first marriage out of the way. Because I was never married, she didn't want to be my first divorce."
2. "My mom stopped dating a guy because he unfastened and refastened the Velcro on his shoes throughout an entire movie at the movie theater."
3. "I ended things when I found out that he thought lemons were unripened oranges."
4. "Every time I touched her, I would smell of egg. Held hands? Egg. Hugged her? My shirt would smell of egg. Strangest bit was, she didn't smell like that whatsoever. When I broke it off, the egg smelling stopped."
6. "She kept using the word 'redonkulous' in normal conversation. I felt my soul dying every time I heard it."
7. "I stopped seeing someone after they were overwhelmingly impressed with the concept of PowerPoint, and then asked me what the building in the painting at the Indian restaurant we were at was. It was the Taj Mahal. Asked me to repeat the name. No idea or concept of the Taj Mahal."
9. "He asked me a question every time I took a bite of food, then started at me while I finished chewing. The date went on like this for an hour. He had a supernatural sense of poor timing."
10. "She asked me if I was a breakdancer while we were flirting, like it was something she was hoping for."
12. "I don't think she'd ever cleaned the bottom of the toilet seat."
"Everything was going great. I thought she was an amazing girl and we'd been seeing each other for two months. I went to her house for the first time and it was a little messy, but nothing to write home about. Then I went to the bathroom and put up the toilet seat...I don't think she'd ever cleaned the bottom of the toilet seat given how disgusting it was. From then on, the only thing I could think about when talking or being with her was that disgusting toilet seat."
13. "This guy would text 'dame' instead of 'damn.' It wasn’t a typo, either. It was every time."
14. "He tried to say what I was saying...at the same time as me. He started mouthing it and then slowly including more and more voice. I would stop talking and start again...and he mimicked the whole time."
15. "She called someone 'a pompous.' Nope, she didn't say he was acting pompous or that he was a pompous ass. He was a pompous."
16. "About three weeks in, I cooked dinner. It was the first time we had eaten dinner quietly at home as a date. His chewing noises drove me up the wall, and I noped out after that."
17. "He was awful in a trivia game we were playing. I mean really bad, like it was his first day pretending to be a human on Earth and the aliens hadn’t briefed him sufficiently."
18. "All The Words In Every Text He Sent Were Capitalized. Trust Me, It Got ANNOYING."
19. "She would insist on a job interview level of formality whenever we talked."
"The first time I asked her to my place went like this:
Me: So do you want to take this back to my place?
Her: Is this an invitation for intercourse?
Me: ...Yes...it is...
Her: Please ask again properly."