The Timeline Of An Unpaid Internship

Is it over yet?

1. Landed the internship! SCORE!

2. Day 0: Can’t wait to start and gain valuable experience. This could turn into a real job!

3. Day 1: Picking up coffee is AWESOME!

4. Day 2: You’re evidently special enough to copy important documents! Can’t help but smile.

5. Day 4: “I would be DELIGHTED to transfer you!”

6. Day 8: Getting coffee sucks.

7. Day 11: Fuck this copy machine.

8. Day 13: “Yeah…hold on, please….ugh.”

9. Day 18: “NEVER CALL THIS OFFICE AGAIN, YOU FUCK!”

10. Day 21: No one has acknowledged or spoken to you but your boss.

11. Day 25: Order the $4 side of vegetables at dinner with friends.

12. Day 25: Attempt to recede into the background while they excitedly discuss their real jobs.

13. Day 28: Realize that rent is due soon.

14. Day 29: Consider getting into the organ trade.

15. Day 30: Settle for a weekend job instead.

16. Day 34: Skip bar night with friends in favor of alone time with Charles Shaw.

18. Day 37: Decide you don’t believe in hierarchy.

19. Day 41: Realize that you’re violently ill but don’t have health insurance.

20. Day 42: Resort to dubious home remedies.

22. Day 45: Awkwardly phone your parents to ask for money.

23. Day 49: Write passive aggressive e-mails to your coworkers, but leave them in your “Drafts” folder.

24. Day 52: Continue to subsist entirely on Hamburger Helper.

25. Day 57: Feel empty and misled.

26. Day 61: Forge onward…

27. Day 67: Realize that the end is near.

28. Day 70: Things are looking up!

29. Day 73: Free food in the office today!

30. Day 78: Coworkers said hello to you in the elevator!

31. Day 83: Your boss stood up for you!

32. Day 89: He nearly even shed a tear upon your departure.

33. Day 90: IT IS DONE!!!

35. Now, onto the job search…

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