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The Timeline Of An Unpaid Internship
Is it over yet?
Landed the internship! SCORE!
Day 0: Can't wait to start and gain valuable experience. This could turn into a real job!
Day 1: Picking up coffee is AWESOME!
Day 2: You're evidently special enough to copy important documents! Can't help but smile.
Day 4: "I would be DELIGHTED to transfer you!"
Day 8: Getting coffee sucks.
Day 11: Fuck this copy machine.
Day 13: "Yeah...hold on, please....ugh."
Day 18: "NEVER CALL THIS OFFICE AGAIN, YOU FUCK!"
Day 21: No one has acknowledged or spoken to you but your boss.
Day 25: Order the $4 side of vegetables at dinner with friends.
Day 25: Attempt to recede into the background while they excitedly discuss their real jobs.
Day 28: Realize that rent is due soon.
Day 29: Consider getting into the organ trade.
Day 30: Settle for a weekend job instead.
Day 34: Skip bar night with friends in favor of alone time with Charles Shaw.
Day 37: Decide you don't believe in hierarchy.
Day 41: Realize that you're violently ill but don't have health insurance.
Day 42: Resort to dubious home remedies.
Day 45: Awkwardly phone your parents to ask for money.
Day 49: Write passive aggressive e-mails to your coworkers, but leave them in your "Drafts" folder.
Day 52: Continue to subsist entirely on Hamburger Helper.
Day 57: Feel empty and misled.
Day 67: Realize that the end is near.
Day 70: Things are looking up!
Day 73: Free food in the office today!
Day 78: Coworkers said hello to you in the elevator!
Day 83: Your boss stood up for you!
Day 89: He nearly even shed a tear upon your departure.
Now, onto the job search...
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