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The Unmissed Connection

I read a lot of missed connection articles on here. They are one of my favorite things that get posted. I love the way they are written, but I always think it’s so sad that someone felt that way and didn’t do anything about it. I wanted people to see that all you have to do is begin, so much can happen after that. And honestly, it's always too much to lose by just staying quiet. So I decided to write my own type of connection post, one that didn’t have the missed ending.

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I didn't wake up thinking that day would be anything extraordinary. People sometimes say that they "knew something great was going to happen today". I didn't, it felt completely normal. The only thing really different was that I would be going home home in just one day to visit my family for vacation. It had been six months too long and I was desperate to get out of town. So desperate, in fact, that I almost thought "I should call out from work today, get an early start packing and relaxing before my flight in the morning". But I didn't, of course I didn't, because I have this insane responsible mentality that I must show up to work all the time. But just because I had to show up, did not mean that I had to be in a good mood about it. I was less than 24 hours away from not having to see this place for a whole week, what did I care if I pissed someone off. Checking the list of new interns that I would be in charge of did not improve my mood, I really just wanted to work alone. But while I was the employee who always showed up, my coworker was the polar opposite, so my great reward for being responsible was getting stuck with her trainee for the day. My main strategy was to not make eye contact, hoping they'd take the hint and be quiet for the next 9 hours. But then there you were, making it your goal to change everything about me that day.

I hated you immediately. Mostly because a stream of never ending words tumbled out of your mouth forming questions that made no sense. Also, I hated you because you made me extremely aware of the fact that in my rebellion for the day, I had chosen to not brush my hair, or wear makeup, or look remotely like a decent human being. I hated that you made me even care that I looked like I had crawled out of a lake and then came directly to work. And those questions you kept asking, just continuously bombarding me, did you even know how to shut up? God, I wanted you to. Except, I didn't. Not really. Where had you even gotten some of these ideas you were blurting out, I honestly could not decide if you were bullshitting me or really believed this stuff existed.

Your erratic weird behavior and word vomit slowly was making my scowl turn into a laugh. It was ridiculous. I knew I should've called out and stayed home. You continued talking, for hours. It seemed endless. I kept watching you, while you went on and on. You were attractive, I had noticed that in the first five minutes of being introduced to you. I don't spend much time though focusing on someone's looks, I notice it and then move on if there's nothing else there interesting me. But you had my attention. The exact topic of your conversations weren't memorable, but the way you were changing me was not something I could ignore. The time to leave work came, and I dreaded going home. How had this even happened? I had a flight to be on in mere hours that I had been counting down for weeks, and now I was wishing I could stay at work longer? What was wrong with me? After I gathered my belongings, I deliberately walked slowly back towards the parking lot, hoping to run into you again. When you called me from down the hallway, I smiled to myself. I tried to hide it from you, after all, I still was trying to keep up the "I'm an annoyed bitch" charade. But truth be told, I was far from that mood anymore. You're stream of pointless, obviously misinformed questions lasted all the way to my car. I looked at you again before I headed home, I wanted to remember this weird boy that I wouldn't be seeing for a week.

And that's when I saw it. Everything we could be. I could see it all with you. I saw our first "date", I was so nervous trying to be the girl I wanted you to like instead of the trainer I wanted you to hate. I saw you trying to ask what I was looking for in someone, by making some sea turtle reference that only confused me. You really were a strange one. I saw you trying to hold my hand for the first time, and me trying to decipher your actions. I saw our first kiss, when my wondering question of "does he?" became "yes, he does". I saw you flying home with me, telling me you loved me for the first time. I saw my family seeing that even though I couldn't say I back, I was equally in love with you. I saw us spending a summer in the most magical place on earth. I saw you leaving, and us being confused what would come next. I saw me saying I wanted to try long distance, and that being the most amazing thing you had ever heard. I saw lots of planes, flying here and there. New countries, hot ones with foreign languages and cold ones with funny accents. I saw you seeing snow for the first time while I experienced pyramids for the first time. I saw our first argument, which we would make jokes about later. Mostly I saw a lot of missing each other. Nights spent on skype calls, the part of the day we both looked forward to. I saw crying when the distance felt too far, but always much much more laughing and smiling. I saw holidays apart and holidays together, and promises that soon they would all solely be the latter. I saw a surprise visit, showing up at your work desk when you believed I was 2000 miles away, single-handedly the best surprise to ever be pulled off by myself. And I am in the business of loving surprises. I saw the excitement of landing in the airport, and the sadness of departing one. I saw your hand always holding mine. I saw that not every moment would be easy, but worth it. I saw a great love, the kind that you pray every night you will be lucky enough to find. I saw that against all odds, I met the person who completed me.

So I got in my car that night and I drove home. I took that flight the next morning, and a return flight a week later. And when I came back to work, you're the first person I went to find. I had seen what this could be, so I went up to you and said, "Hi, I'm back." And it all began.

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