18 Things You'll Only Understand If You Have A Penis

    Stop it, random boner.

    1. When you very casually try to unstick your balls from your leg on a hot day:

    2. This one will look familiar to anyone who's been surprised with the double-stream:

    3. And the only thing more annoying is this:

    4. There's that moment when you're trying to pee and someone ignores the empty line of urinals and stands right next to you:

    5. But then there's that beautiful moment when you get the rare solo urinal:

    6. Sometimes you sit down in a stall, and your penis accidentally touches the toilet seat:

    7. Or even worse, the TOILET WATER:

    8. And that small moment of panic when you walk into a restroom and there are no urinals, and you're 100% sure you just made a mistake:

    9. That feeling you get when your balls start itching and you can't do anything because you're in public:

    10. And when you finally get a chance, you have to employ the "pinch & roll" technique:

    11. When your S.O. sees your flaccid penis for the first time and they're all like:

    12. There are those moments when you're sure you just broke it:

    13. Or when someone was nice and did your laundry, but they did ALL your laundry:

    14. That boost of confidence when you're done with a trim:

    15. Honestly, it'd be nice to just shave the whole lot sometimes:

    16. When you get a random boner and it's just not the time for it:

    17. But then you're trying to get frisky after you've had a little too much to drink and your penis is just like:

    18. But then you remember that you don't get a period, and you're like: