Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to talk about this frickin' photo of Dr. Phil.
The first thing you probably noticed was his face, which when combined with the caption "BIG KNIFE! SMALL WIFE!" is a tad unsettling.
But you might NOT have noticed that the aforementioned "BIG KNIFE!" is from Guy Fieri's kitchenware line. Which is just...kinda odd.
Especially when you contrast it with the apron Dr. Phil is wearing, which is from Au Vieux Paris d'Arcole, a popular restaurant in Paris.
The "TINY WIFE!", aka Robin McGraw, is taking a rather large bite of...something. Is that a glob of hummus with tomato chunks in it? Is it lobster salad? No one knows. But it is a large spoonful. We do know that.
I just have a lot of questions about this kitchen, too. How many ovens does Dr. Phil have? I think there are three of them right there. Possibly a fourth? Or is that some kind of espresso machine? The world may never know.
What are these salt and pepper shakers supposed to be? Roosters? Roman centurions? Two warbler-finches wearing Aztec headdresses?
What is this? Is it a warming pad for bowls of soup? Is it a cutting board that's exclusively for jellyfish? What does it mean?
Anyway, I hope Phil, Robin, and their pile of chopped vegetables are having a nice day.