People Are Sharing Sex Tips That They Wish Others Knew, And It's Putting American Sex Ed To Shame
Universal rule: Don't learn stuff from porn.
A BUNCH of people chimed in, and honestly the advice is better than anything you'd get in Sex Ed class. We'll start with the most-upvoted tips about vaginas first, so scroll down if you're here for the penises.
Note: While many of these commenters used cis-het-specific language based on their own experience, these tips can apply to relationships of all kinds!
1. "Saying 'don’t stop' while I am climaxing does not mean speed up or go harder. It means keep doing what you’re doing to keep my orgasm going."
"Oh this is a big one: Sometimes my husband gets carried away [and] excited when I’m about to cum or cumming, and I’m like, no!!! Going faster makes it go away."
"If I hear the words 'don’t stop' I compulsively just respond with 'thinking about tomorrow,' and that kills the mood immediately."
2. "Trim and file those fingerknives before you go scraping around in there."
3. "For the first timers, the hole where you put the dick in is a little lower than you think."
4. "Rhythm is more important than speed."
5. "Don't aggressively rub up and down like you see in porn. This shit hurts. You're not a DJ at an underground house party."
6. "You have to warm it up, that pre-wet isn’t enough to put it in."
7. "Just because your ex liked certain things doesn't mean your current [SO] does. Communication is key, and porn [is] not a good teacher."
8. "Once you find the clit, don't ignore the rest 😬😑."
9. "During a sexual experience, the vagina should be the last thing you touch. Stroke her hair, face, neck, back, breasts, hands, legs, feet, butt, belly, and massage around the vagina before you actually touch it."
10. "If you are just hammering away at a girl’s cervix, it hurts."
"In a weird way, I also enjoy this? It’s like a dull ache from inside my body, but in a good way. Plus I like the feeling of my partner being 'that deep.' Of course, it’s probably best to just ask your partner ahead of time or trying it during sex and taking note of their reaction. But I just wanted to say there are women out there who enjoy the feeling of their cervix getting bumped into."
"To me, getting rammed in the cervix feels like straight-up labor pain. (Source: Squirted out two kids — although this was true for me before I had them too... I just didn't know that's what labor felt like.) Not even close to pleasure. I know that's not true for everyone, but I can't be the only one who has this experience. Best to tread cautiously at first, lads."
11. "It curves upward! It's not just a straight tube. You go ramming your straight fingers in there, you're just going to scratch up the walls with your nasty fingernails and end up giving her BV. It's cuuuuuuurrrrved."
12. "Everyone looks different down there. Unlike in porn, they don't look like perfect buns. Some have small outer lips. Some have very large/small/different sizes of inner lips."
13. "The hymen has nothing to do with your virginity."
"There was a really good TED video on this once by Nina Dølvik Brochmann and Ellen Støkken Dahl. They showed that the hymen is more like cling film on a hula hoop in that you break one part, not all of it breaks, and that any force at all — even external — could break it, or it may not break.
They ended the video by saying:
'If you want to know whether a woman is a virgin, ask her...though the answer she gives is entirely up to her.'
And here are the tips people shared about penises:
14. "A lot of dicks naturally harden in a certain direction. I’ve had multiple partners that love to mess around and pull on it when hard. It's a very odd and uncomfortable sensation. Best thing I can compare it to is pushing the cartilage in your nose in the wrong direction, but a lot more sensitive."
15. "Some of the girls seem to think for a handjob 'faster is better,' which is not true. You don't try to start a fire with his dick. Instead vary pressure, grip, and angle (slightly), and look at his reactions. Yes, toward the end speed increase is good, but in between it should vary."
16. "It’s overwhelmingly sensitive mid- and post-orgasm."
17. "Anxiety boners are a thing; I’m terrified of this exam tomorrow — I’m not horny."
"I didn’t know anxiety was the cause of random boners. This explains two separate times I was tending bar and had to maneuver myself basically pressed up against the bar for a long time for fear a guest would see my hard-on and feel weird. The stress must have made it so much worse."
18. "That thin bit of stretched skin connecting the shaft and head from below…it's easy to rip, so please be careful playing or sucking down there."
19. "Every time it gets hard doesn’t mean we’re horny; every time we’re horny doesn’t mean we’re hard."
20. "Every guy has had that unique, great, one-time boner, never so hard and big, to the point that you don't even recognize your own penis. I wish I was able to have that boner more often."
21. "Maintaining an erection actually requires a lot of concentration. If there are too many distractions, I'll go soft. It's not because I'm not attracted to you; there's just a lot happening."
22. "Split streams are real; we can't always control our aim. We can clean up though."
23. "I think most [people] know, but I’ve still come across a few in my 20s that were not aware of the 'Shower vs. Grower.' If you don’t see a bulge or outline in our running shorts, it doesn’t mean anything until you see us in the bedroom."
24. "It doesn't always get along with antidepressants. It's not you; the medication can cause lower libido or none at all, with or without various erectile dysfunctions, at random times for some, all the time for others."
25. "It is fairly common ... to have pearly penile papules (hirsutoid papillomas). They're small bumps around the head of the penis; they are something you are born with and are in no way contagious or dangerous, but they aren't that aesthetically pleasing, and a lot [of] people don't know about them because [people] who have them tend to be embarrassed to talk about it. Can be quite a psychological barrier to get over ... especially when things are getting steamy and you have to pause the moment to have an awkward convo pre-sex. But from my experience, girls tend to like them for the extra stimulation."
26. "It floats in water."
Did these commenters miss anything important? Let us know in the comments!
Note: Submissions may have been edited for length or clarity.