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You're Going To Want To Buy These Awesome (And Expensive) "Game Of Thrones" Products

Why yes, I do need an audiobook to teach me Dothraki!

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1. Drink to your victories with Ommegang's Seven Kingdoms Hoppy Wheat Ale.

What it costs: $9.99 for an 850 mL bottle.

Where to find it: Online at direct-sale sites like Craftshack, or locally at various retailers (searchable through Ommegang.com).

Why you need it: You have to have something to wash down your meal as you eat every chicken in the room.

2. Put your Seven Kingdoms beer in these house sigil pint glasses and mugs.

What it costs: $9.99 for the pint glasses, $14.99 for the mugs.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: If one of your friends is House Stark, you can glare at them and take a long sip out of your House Lannister glass.

3. Or, pour it into these fancy house sigil steins made by Underground Toys.

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What it costs: $29.99 to $59.99, depending on the retailer.

Where to find it: Select houseware and/or toy stores, like Bed Bath & Beyond.

Why you need it: Let's face it, those pint glasses aren't always epic enough for your drinking habits.

4. Show your house pride with these sigil banners.

What they cost: $24.99 each.

Where to find them: The HBO Shop.

Why you need them: Let your enemies know they're coming into your territory every time they enter your apartment. Or your friends. Basically anybody.

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5. Claim your territory with this Westeros map and house markers.

What it costs: $199 for the set.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: If you're going to crush the other major houses of Westeros, you need to keep an eye on their movements and plan your attack. Also, the markers just look really cool.

6. Build a small army with these Funko Mystery Mini figures.

What it costs: $6.99 each.

Where to find it: The HBO store or anywhere else Funko products are sold.

Why you need it: Do you see how adorable the tiny Danaerys and Jorah are? LOOK AT HOW CUTE.

7. Have a little buddy at your desk with these Funko Dorbz figures.

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What it costs: $7.99 each.

Where to find it: Available this summer anywhere Funko products are sold.

Why you need it: They're so happy! It's almost as if they don't live in a world full of murder and sadness.

8. Or, forget all those other figurines and just get this Danaerys & Drogon Funko Pop! Ride figure.

What it costs: $24.99

Where to find it: The HBO Shop or anywhere Funko products are sold.

Why you need it: It's badass AND adorable, just like Emilia Clarke. And Drogon.

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9. Bring your favorite characters back to life with these Dark Horse figures.

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What it costs: $24.99 each.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop or Dark Horse Comics.

Why you need it: You can buy Oberyn and pretend that he's still alive and then sob to yourself a bit.

10. Make your collection a little scarier with this Night King bust.

HBO

What it costs: $129.99

Where to find it: The HBO Shop or Dark Horse Comics.

Why you need it: Every time you look at it, you can remember that incredible moment in "Hardhome." Plus, sometimes you just need a reminder that winter is coming.

11. Cosplay like a badass with this set of White Walker prosthetics.

HBO

What it costs: Pieces range in price from $640 to $2,960. This particular mask sells for about $870.

Where to find it: The CompositeEffects store.

Why you need it: Can you imagine the pranking potential here? These things are pretty realistic when you put them on — the mouth even moves as you talk, and the hands are super creepy.

Plus, it's kind of hilarious to wear it with regular street clothes:

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12. Jazz up your living room with this Game of Thrones pinball machine.

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What it costs: The pro model (pictured) is $5,995. There's also a premium model at $7,199, as well as a limited-edition model at $8,999.

Where to find it: The Pinball Company's online store.

Why you need it: Let's be honest: You've probably always dreamed of having a pinball machine in your house. Why not make it a Game of Thrones one?

14. Play these various games of thrones with your friends/enemies.

What it costs: Monopoly is $59.95, Risk is $74.95, and Clue is $49.99.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop and other toy/game retailers. Clue will be available later this summer.

Why you need it: The only thing more intense than Game of Thrones is a competitive game of Risk. And the only thing more intense than that is playing Monopoly with your family.

15. Correspond with your allies with these house stationery sets.

What it costs: $34.99

Where to find it: The HBO store. Available in Stark, Lannister and Targaryen.

Why you need it: Sending letters using fancy stationery is a lost art. Plus, ravens can be so unpredictable, you know? Sometimes they get snatched by an eagle and then poof, there goes your letter.

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16. Prove your encyclopedic knowledge with Game of Thrones: The Trivia Game.

What it costs: $39.99

Where to find it: Toys R Us or other retailers that sell games and toys.

Why you need it: How are all your friends going to know that you can recite the entirety of Seasons 1 and 2 unless you prove your expertise through a board game?

17. Re-create the throne room with this mini construction set.

HBO

What it costs: $31.99, with sets of figurines and banners at $8.99 each.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: It's well worth it — you can personally depose Joffrey and replace him with anyone you want. Hell, you could 3D-print yourself and take a seat on the throne. Nobody's stopping you!

18. Wear this replica of the Hound's helmet to work, just because.

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What it costs: $300

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: It's WEARABLE! You can put this thing on, walk up to people, and ask, "What the fuck is a Lommy?" It also comes with a handsome display stand, but where's the fun in that?

19. Learn to speak Dothraki with this audiobook, companion app, and full online course.

HBO

What it costs: The audiobook is $19.99, the companion app is $3.99, and the full online course is $30.

Where to find it: All three items are available through Living Language.

Why you need it: You'll basically be about to talk about anyone behind their back, provided you aren't at a convention.

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20. Game of Thrones collector's edition pop-up book with Astrolabe ($495)

What it costs: The book alone is $65. The book with the astrolabe is $495.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop or Sideshow Collectibles.

Why you need it: Some things are just too epic to be enjoyed in simple 2D.

21. Hang out on a rock with Dany and Drogon with this 14-inch statue.

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What it costs: $424.99

Where to find it: Dark Horse Comics and other collectibles retailers.

Why you need it: There's a smaller version for $70, but something this cool deserves to take up more space on your desk.

22. Go over your list of names while sharpening your very own Needle (or Oathkeeper, or Arakh).

What it costs: Needle is $190, Khal Drogo's Arakh is $250, and Oathkeeper is $270.

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: Hopefully only for display and cosplay purposes. Don't stick anyone with the pointy end. Also available are Jon Snow's sword, Eddard Stark's sword, Jamie Lannister's sword, and others.

23. Organize the tomes on your bookcase with these dragon egg bookends.

What it costs: $149.99

Where to find it: The HBO Shop. There are also direwolf bookends for $80.

Why you need it: Your bookshelf will look mystical AF. Just please make sure not to take them into a burning funeral pyre with you or anything.

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24. Show off your house allegiance with Pyrrha's line of pendants, bracelets, cuffs, and rings.

HBO

What it costs: Smaller pendants start at $110, bracelets are $216, rings are $270, and cuffs are $1,302.

Where to find it: Pyrrha.com has the entire collection.

Why you need it: You might be into Pyrrha jewelry anyway, so why not get a pendant with your favorite house sigil?

25. Get an even deeper story experience with Game of Thrones: A Telltale Game Series.

What it costs: About $20, depending on which system you buy it for.

Where to find it: Amazon, Steam or other gaming retailers.

Why you need it: You get to go through chapters of the Game of Thrones story, meet familiar characters, and make choices along the way. There isn't a lot of button-pressing skill required, so you can play it even if you're not good at video games.

26. Keep your secret files safe with these tiny, adorable 16GB USB key chains.

Andy Neuenschwander / BuzzFeed

What it costs: $19.99 each

Where to find it: The HBO Shop, once they're released in late April.

Why you need it: They're just so damn cute, AND they're super useful! Some characters will also be available as external batteries for emergency device charging.

27. Rule the Seven Kingdoms with a replica of the royal crown of houses Baratheon and Lannister.

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What it costs: $300

Where to find it: The HBO Shop.

Why you need it: Basically, you can walk around looking like you schemed your way to the top. Maybe order your friends around and tell them, "Your queen commands it." The sky's the limit!