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    Jellied Cranberry Sauce Is The Best Part Of Thanksgiving

    I refuse to compromise on this opinion.

    It's Thanksgiving time, which means it's time to talk about which Thanksgiving foods are better than others.

    But I'm not gonna sit here and talk about which pie is best, or if green bean casserole should even exist (it shouldn't).

    No my friends, we're here to talk about how canned cranberry sauce is the MVP of Thanksgiving dinner.

    See this right here? This is NOT what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to eat chunks of soggy fruit. And that orange rind is fooling NO ONE, Karen.

    "But Andy," you're probably saying, after scrolling up to see the name of the idiot who got paid to write this, "it comes in the shape of the can." YEAH, THAT'S THE BEST PART. You can take a convenient little slice or scoop and distribute it how you want.

    Now, I should admit that I'm also a person who prefers a smooth jelly to a chunky jam or preserves. Maybe that makes me a cultureless swine, but at least I'm not picking strawberry seeds out of my teeth.

    In summary: May your days be merry and bright, and may your cranberry sauce look like this, just chillin' on a plate in the middle of your holiday table: