1. A couple with a house that's too small for them? What a surprise!
2. My favorite thing is when they intro David and Hilary with both of them walking down the street with intense music behind them like they're on a 1970's cop show.
3. If I've learned anything from this show, it's that having even one baby forces you to either move or spend a huge amount of money on renovations.
4.There is inevitably always one shot of the clients chilling with a glass of wine. Then again, I would need a drink too if I was about to give Hilary $75,000.
5. I swear, every couple says they MUST have a home office. Does everyone in Canada work from home?
6. Inevitable conversation:
Person who wants to list: "We're completely out of space. We turned our bathroom into a playroom for the kids. I sleep standing up in a closet.
Person who wants to stay: "WE ARE FINE! IT'S FINE!"
7. There's always a shot of the living room with the child's toys all over the floor. Conclusion: kids are jerks.
8. These people be like: "In order to list it, we need to find a house that's in the same neighborhood but $100,000 cheaper with eight bedrooms, a pool, a tennis court, and a library like that one in Beauty and the Beast."
9. David and Hilary's banter gives me life.
11. Hilary really has the cards stacked against her. David has a charming Canadian accent and she sounds like a Bond villain. So, a classy villain, but a villain nonetheless.
12. Actually, this house is impossible to fix. #TeamHilary.
13. Wait no #TeamDavid.
14. I'm conflicted.
15. David gets really passionate about en suites.
16. Hilary gets really passionate about refinishing basements.
17. Whenever Hilary hears what her budget is, she gets this look like someone just killed her puppy.
18. THEY SAID IT! THEY SAID THE TITLE WORDS!
19. Hilary's assistant and her magical tablet are here!
20. Hilary's greatest enemy is not David. Hilary's greatest enemy is walls.
21. Clients: Here's our list of what we want.
Hilary: I'm going to do none of that and just refinish your basement.
22. Clients: Here's our list of what we want.
David: This first house I'm going to show you has nothing that you want.
23. This house is 100 times better than their current house.
24. Can I just live in this house? David, call me. I'm not picky.
25. Every time David tells a couple they need to look outside their neighborhood, they get the same look Hilary gets when she hears her budget.
26. Uh oh, it's the dreaded "outside talk."
27. What do you suppose the divorce rate is for the couples who appear on this show? Because it seems like at least 90% based on all the arguments.
28. Hilary is a master of getting more money. She should run for office.
29. Let's see…30 minutes in…yep, it's time for a construction problem.
30. It always seems like Jonathan Scott can give you a new kitchen, renovate a bathroom, remove five walls, and redo a living room with the same budget it takes Hilary to put drywall up in a basement. Is it because of labor? Or is Hilary running a ponzi scheme?
31. I love when they see the third house and even the "love it" person is like, "Well, maybe…"
32. Hilary's coats are fabulous.
33. They're making their decision!
34. And Hilary and David are bantering again. The snark is real.
35. They're totally going to list it.
36. No doubt they're going to list this thing so fast.
37. Oh. They decided to love it.
38. That's what I meant. Nailed it.
39. No matter whether you're #TeamHilary or #TeamDavid, I think we can all agree we're #TeamHilaryAndDavid over #TeamTheseGuys: