21 Clean Jokes That Are So Dumb They're Actually Funny
"What do you call a crocodile that is also a detective? An investi-gator."
1. I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
2. Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooke.
3. What do you do if you see a fireman?
Put it out, man!
4. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
5. What do you call a crocodile that is also a detective?
6. I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
You might not believe me, but it's true! I saw it with my own eyes.
7. George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.
Clooney says, "I'll direct."
DiCaprio says, "I'll act."
McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
8. I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was AMAZING.
9. If you think Thursdays are depressing, just wait two days...
It'll be a sadder day.
10. Apparently you can't use "beef stew" as a password.
It's not stroganoff.
11. What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
12. Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight and 2021.
13. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
14. A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks, "How much do you charge?"
The lawyer says, "$5,000 for three questions."
"Wow, that's pretty expensive, isn't it?" the man asks.
"Yes," says the lawyer. "Now, what's your third question?"
15. What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises!
When do we want them? NNNNNEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!
16. Not only is my new thesaurus terrible...
...it's also terrible.
17. How does NASA organize a party?
18. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
19. What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a cri-sis?"
20. I can't take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
21. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.