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23 "Archer" Jokes So Funny They'll Put You In The Danger Zone

"Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass."

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1. Every time Archer brought up "phrasing."

Cheryl: Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled my box?!Archer: So, we're just done with phrasing, right? That's not a thing anymore?
FX / Via idkcake.tumblr.com

Cheryl: Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled my box?!

Archer: So, we're just done with phrasing, right? That's not a thing anymore?

2. And the times when he didn't even need to.

FX / Via idkcake.tumblr.com

Lana: Are you coming?

Archer: No, but I'm breathing fast.

3. When Krieger revealed too much.

Krieger: I'm not a serial killer.Archer: Wait, why'd you emphasize "serial"?
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Krieger: I'm not a serial killer.

Archer: Wait, why'd you emphasize "serial"?

4. When Archer learned about Germany's laws.

Anke: I am from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Anke: I am from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.

Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?

5. When the situation was this ironic.

Archer: This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby, and named it this exact situation!
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Archer: This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby, and named it this exact situation!

6. When Krieger had the best name for his sex robot.

Pam: Tell him about the sex robot!Krieger: I call him Fister Roboto.
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Pam: Tell him about the sex robot!

Krieger: I call him Fister Roboto.

7. When Archer found it hard to focus.

Katya: What do you see in my eyes?Archer: Mostly those insane boobs.
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Katya: What do you see in my eyes?

Archer: Mostly those insane boobs.

8. And Pam brought up Katya's boobs, too.

Pam: You blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss...uhh...Archer: R2-"Double-D"-2?
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Pam: You blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss...uhh...

Archer: R2-"Double-D"-2?

9. When Archer totally dissed karate. And Dane Cook.

Cyril: Hey, will I get to learn karate?Archer: Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No.
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Cyril: Hey, will I get to learn karate?

Archer: Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No.

10. When Slater burned Archer pretty bad.

Slater: So I saw you coming on to Archer. I was just gonna tell you he's had the clap so many times, it's more like applause.
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Slater: So I saw you coming on to Archer. I was just gonna tell you he's had the clap so many times, it's more like applause.

11. When Archer had to make an ocelot-based pun.

FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Archer: It's like...Meowschwitz in there.

12. When these were the actual subtitles when Russian people spoke.

"Ektual genius plen."
FX / Via reddit.com

"Ektual genius plen."

13. And even better ways of getting out of awkward situations.

14. Seriously.

FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Krieger: Smoke bomb!

15. When Archer could only think of one thing as great as driving a hovercraft.

Archer: Seriously, Lana, this must be what it's like to have sex with me.
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Archer: Seriously, Lana, this must be what it's like to have sex with me.

16. When Archer didn't take Canadian terrorists very seriously.

Lana: At any time in the next 12 hours, this train could be attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists.Archer: Armed with what? Pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control laws?
FX / Via the-dangerzone.tumblr.com

Lana: At any time in the next 12 hours, this train could be attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists.

Archer: Armed with what? Pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control laws?

17. When Cheryl lost count of the World Wars.

Cheryl: And now we're like on the brink of World War II.Pam: Three.Cheryl: It's not a competition, Pam!
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Cheryl: And now we're like on the brink of World War II.

Pam: Three.

Cheryl: It's not a competition, Pam!

18. When it wasn't really that long a story.

http://imgur.com/gallery/Cko3B

Mallory: And since when do you carry a switchblade?

Archer: It's a long story, mother.

[sees switchblade in pawn shop]

Archer: Neat.

19. When Archer almost saw one of his worst fears.

Archer: Oh thank god, I thought you were crocodiles.Calzado Crocodiles? On a three-wheeler?Archer: Right? How scary would that be?
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

Archer: Oh thank god, I thought you were crocodiles.

Calzado Crocodiles? On a three-wheeler?

Archer: Right? How scary would that be?

20. When Archer said a little prayer.

Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
FX / Via quickmeme.com

Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

21. When there were so, so many Lord of the Rings references.

Cyril: These are from a doctor!

Pam: Pill-bo Baggins.

22. When Lana was 100% done.

[faraway screams]Lana: Don't even wanna know.
FX / Via fuckyeaharchergifs.tumblr.com

[faraway screams]

Lana: Don't even wanna know.

23. And finally, when Krieger had the best name for a box fort.

FX / Via imgur.com

Krieger: Are you addressing me? Because your authority isn't recognized in Fort Kickass.

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