1.
"Sticky rice...jasmine rice...same thing, right?"
2.
Banana sushi is bad enough, but banana sushi right next to salmon sushi is something else entirely.
3.
"This roll is lacking something...ah, yes, string cheese!"
4.
Yes, that is a Kraft Single. No, I don't know why God has forsaken us.
5.
Here's a roll that's vegan and gluten-free, because it's just rice with a tiny piece of pickled ginger in it!
6.
Oh, sorry, that vegetarian roll wasn't enough for you? Fine, have a single piece of romaine lettuce or celery, Your Majesty.
7.
Somebody call Italy and tell them we have a problem.
8.
A+ presentation. D- self-worth.
9.
Oh look! A peanut butter and jelly roll!
10.
Here's a sushi roll suspended in gelatin. Why? Nobody knows!
11.
Who needs olives when you have a soggy cucumber roll?
12.
You can turn just about anything into sushi, so long as you have no conscience.
13.
Like turkey and cranberries with stuffing!
16.
Normally you pickle ginger to go with sushi, but this roll just has regular ol' pickles in it.
18.
Sushi cake. Sushi. Cake.
19.
I know what you're thinking. "Why would you put spicy salmon in a waffle cone?" Well, here's a counterpoint: Why WOULDN'T you?
20.
Here's a sushi sundae. What's on there, sour cream? Cream cheese? Who knows?
21.
Lemme just take a look here...yep. Yep, that's boxed mac and cheese.
22.
Actually, I would eat this.
