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19 Mysteries That Small-Town Midwesterners Will Never, Ever Solve

Why does everyone insist on calling pop "soda?"

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1. Why do we always say "ope" when we bump into someone?

Even if you know that you do this, you still can't stop yourself from doing it.
Twitter: @frey_em

Even if you know that you do this, you still can't stop yourself from doing it.

2. Why is Meijer the best store in the world?

I'm sorry, Wal-who?
Mike Kalasnik / Via Flickr: 10542402@N06

I'm sorry, Wal-who?

3. Why does anyone bother going to Six Flags when Cedar Point exists?

youtube.com

That first drop on the Millennium Force is better than sex, tbh.

4. How does Vernors manage to cure any and all illnesses?

This + chicken noodle soup = instant cure.
instagram.com

This + chicken noodle soup = instant cure.

5. Why isn't cornhole an Olympic sport yet?

Because I would be taking home gold.
Paul Fisher / Via Flickr: thetorpedodog

Because I would be taking home gold.

6. Why do people from southern states have SO much trouble driving in the snow or rain?

Warner Bros.

It's a half inch of snow, guys, it's not the apocalypse.

7. Why bother with the ocean when you have lakes?

Just as refreshing, and no sharks.
Flickr: daveynin

Just as refreshing, and no sharks.

8. Is there anything that DOESN'T taste better with ranch?

Fox

Short answer: no. Maybe ice cream.

9. Why does everyone insist on calling pop "soda"?

It's pop.

10. Wait. You're telling me there are places where they actually ~fix~ potholes?

reddit.com

Imagine living in a place where you don't have to strategically swerve all over the road.

11. How do students in warmer states get through the year without any snow days?

4Kids International

Yeah, it's cold here, but do you get random days off where you can cover yourself in blankets and read all day?

12. Is it normal to have snow one day, and then 70-degree weather a few days later?

Long underwear one week, shorts the next.
Charles Willgren / Via Flickr: charkes

Long underwear one week, shorts the next.

13. Is it even a party if you don't have a bonfire going?

And is it really a high school party if nobody tries to jump over the bonfire?
Flickr: iancarroll

And is it really a high school party if nobody tries to jump over the bonfire?

14. Why is your town so awesome, and why does the next town over suck so much?

Disney

Your town is great, has a better coffee shop, and is way better at sports. The next town over is terrible in all regards.

15. Why do we apologize so much?

16. Is there ever going to be a more perfect food than deep dish pizza?

theodysseyonline.com

Listen, I don't want to start a debate here, but more cheese is never a bad thing.

17. How does anyone ever eat when there are no Coney Islands nearby?

"Brunch" means I can get both pancakes and a Coney Dog in one sitting, thanks.
Steven Depolo / Via Flickr: stevendepolo

"Brunch" means I can get both pancakes and a Coney Dog in one sitting, thanks.

18. Why do people always call Paczki Day "Fat Tuesday"?

The entire point of the day is to eat paczki, right?
JoeFoodie / Via Flickr: montage_man

The entire point of the day is to eat paczki, right?

19. How does anyone live anywhere else?

😍
James Watkins / Via Flickr: 23737778@N00

😍

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