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    19 Mysteries That Small-Town Midwesterners Will Never, Ever Solve

    Why does everyone insist on calling pop "soda?"

    1. Why do we always say "ope" when we bump into someone?

    Twitter: @frey_em

    Even if you know that you do this, you still can't stop yourself from doing it.

    2. Why is Meijer the best store in the world?

    Mike Kalasnik / Via Flickr: 10542402@N06

    I'm sorry, Wal-who?

    3. Why does anyone bother going to Six Flags when Cedar Point exists?

    That first drop on the Millennium Force is better than sex, tbh.

    4. How does Vernors manage to cure any and all illnesses?

    This + chicken noodle soup = instant cure.

    5. Why isn't cornhole an Olympic sport yet?

    Paul Fisher / Via Flickr: thetorpedodog

    Because I would be taking home gold.

    6. Why do people from southern states have SO much trouble driving in the snow or rain?

    Warner Bros.

    It's a half inch of snow, guys, it's not the apocalypse.

    7. Why bother with the ocean when you have lakes?

    Flickr: daveynin

    Just as refreshing, and no sharks.

    8. Is there anything that DOESN'T taste better with ranch?


    Short answer: no. Maybe ice cream.

    9. Why does everyone insist on calling pop "soda"?

    10. Wait. You're telling me there are places where they actually ~fix~ potholes?

    Imagine living in a place where you don't have to strategically swerve all over the road.

    11. How do students in warmer states get through the year without any snow days?

    4Kids International

    Yeah, it's cold here, but do you get random days off where you can cover yourself in blankets and read all day?

    12. Is it normal to have snow one day, and then 70-degree weather a few days later?

    Charles Willgren / Via Flickr: charkes

    Long underwear one week, shorts the next.

    13. Is it even a party if you don't have a bonfire going?

    Flickr: iancarroll

    And is it really a high school party if nobody tries to jump over the bonfire?

    14. Why is your town so awesome, and why does the next town over suck so much?


    Your town is great, has a better coffee shop, and is way better at sports. The next town over is terrible in all regards.

    15. Why do we apologize so much?

    16. Is there ever going to be a more perfect food than deep dish pizza?

    Listen, I don't want to start a debate here, but more cheese is never a bad thing.

    17. How does anyone ever eat when there are no Coney Islands nearby?

    Steven Depolo / Via Flickr: stevendepolo

    "Brunch" means I can get both pancakes and a Coney Dog in one sitting, thanks.

    18. Why do people always call Paczki Day "Fat Tuesday"?

    JoeFoodie / Via Flickr: montage_man

    The entire point of the day is to eat paczki, right?

    19. How does anyone live anywhere else?

    James Watkins / Via Flickr: 23737778@N00


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