We all know women are funny, but on Twitter they truly let their freak flags fly. Here are 66 of the absolute funniest tweets from women in 2021:
1.
I went on a date with a guy who said he was 6’2. I would just like to announce that I too am 6’2 apparently.
2.
So tomorrow is Monday again ? I can’t keep living like this.
3.
sorry I don’t know how I missed your email, it was sandwiched rivht between “SLAY bells ring: all jeans 50% off” and “Gun violence is out of control, Gabbi”
4.
Fuckboys in 1813
5.
“are u okay” no can we change the topic before i cry
6.
i made one
7.
Life is just choosing your subway sandwich when you're 9 and ordering the same one until you die
8.
“This could’ve been an email”
9.
Very cool to include the Cheesecake Factory menu in this special ceremony.
10.
am I working at my regular capacity? no. but am I prioritizing and taking care of the most important tasks? no. but am I at least taking care of myself and my mental health? also no.
11.
when you've fake laughed twice already and they're still talking
12.
the vagina is the original 3D printer
13.
It’s harder to get in a Trader Joe’s during a pandemic than it is the capitol
14.
“Yo password weak” well so is my memory so plz let me keep it
15.
girl u are literally crying over a man who googles “ending explained” after every movie
16.
me watching you edit my google doc
17.
At the end of Succession, Logan gives the company to Bran.
18.
Zach spelled with an “h” is a scholar, Zack spelled with a “k” is a menace to society
19.
babies born in the hospital are delivered, babies born at home are DiGiorno
20.
as the creator of Emily in Paris can I just say.......why the fuck were we nominated for a Golden Globe LOL I made that show as a prank
21.
deleted my dating apps. just gonna try shaking my ass at barnes & noble to find my soulmate
22.
do u reckon kim kardashian listens to pete davidson by ariana grande
23.
Therapist: you don’t love yourself Me: so true king. Here’s $80
24.
*58 minutes into a 1-hour meeting* "Well that's all I have for today. Happy to give you guys a few minutes back of your day!"
25.
“they/them pronouns are confusing” girl what the fuck is kappa gamma raffa alpha zeta omega
26.
Is there anything funnier than when a cozy cat or dog suddenly heaves a big SIGH like dude what could possibly be the matter
27.
so called “free thinkers” when someone says oh oh oh oriley
28.
Matilda was dead ass walking around with adoption papers fjjcjfjfjc my good sis was ready to kick it 😭
29.
When you were 11 did you hand-write 3 chapters of the first book of a planned trilogy and then completely forget about it until you discovered the notebook as an adult and were horrified or were you normal
30.
normalize leaving after the first red flag, i won’t do it, but you guys should
31.
RIP edgar allen poe i know he woud've loved that's so raven
32.
rediscovered the joy of reading for pleasure (bragging about it)
33.
Interviewer: Can you explain the gap in your CV? Me: I spent 6 hours formatting it in Google Docs and you've opened it in Word.
34.
“your package is out for delivery” ok where bc i’ll meet them halfway
35.
Adulting is when u put the $4.97 meat back because u found some for $4.72 😂
36.
My goal was to have $10,000 saved by the end of 2021. I'm already at $8.32
37.
Being a woman is trying to guess wtf is going on with your body 3 times a week
38.
U ever shake ur head to clear the intrusive thought
39.
When I say “mind you” this is the energy I’m giving
40.
this looks like a commercial for anxiety medication
41.
My cat when JLo broke into “Let’s get Loud” 😂
42.
Gone back to Pete Davidson’s ancestral village, New York City https://t.co/MvuKDcKd9Z
43.
my taste in men
44.
how am i supposed to Live, Laugh, Love in these conditions
45.
Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin bout but we ain’t got it lol”
46.
“i can change him” girl did he shit himself
47.
Thinking you found a parking spot and then boom. Kia fucking soul.
48.
me when I put furniture together by myself
49.
me in a meeting: “this could’ve been an email” me receiving an email: “i’m going to hurl myself into the sun”
50.
yes id like the landlord special please
51.
doctor at my check up asked me if i had “any feelings of depression or anxiety” and i said “don’t we all” and she said “no” lol
52.
just paid a bill. i can't keep doing this
53.
why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe
54.
My IUD fighting for its life every night
55.
when the microwave does the passive aggressive double beep when you forget your food .. i just wanna know which bills you pay to be taking that tone with me
56.
You telling me this foam has memories?
57.
it’s crazy that they only figured out tectonic plates in the 60s. a child in the 50s would say “it seems like south america and africa would fit together” and his mom would go “that’s cute honey would you like a cigarette”
58.
hate restaurants that make u say shit like yeah can i have the big wet daddy burger please thanks
59.
"textbook is required for this class" we gone see.
60.
[me getting in the back of an ambulance] hi, for isabel?
61.
I told a gay man I was a lesbian and he was like no way I just thought you were laid back
62.
I hate when people tell plus size girls they can't “pull something off” like honey I'm trying to buy white jeans not steal the Declaration of Independence
63.
gas pump: please see the cashier me: absolutely not
64.
I came up with my passwords when I was nine and never looked back
65.
what’s the word for when you’re very smart but can’t remember anything and know literally nothing