26. When any league member misses the draft.
“Their season-long go-to excuse for losing is neatly in order.”
25. When the last place teams stop updating their lineup halfway through the season.
“Throwing in the towel before it’s even over, huh?”
23. When someone steals your awesome team name.
“Are you telling me Multiple Scoregasms is taken?!”
22. When a winning team tries trading with a team out of playoff contention.
“Don’t think so.”
19. When you try to negotiate a trade and nobody wants to be reasonable.
“You want an arm AND a leg, ayy?”
17. When most league members don’t pay on time.
“Show me the money. Sooner rather than later, please.”
16. Going into a crucial game with your best players on bye-week.
“Well this stinks.”
13. When ALL teams out of playoff contention stop updating their lineup.
“Oh, we’re handing out free W’s now?”
11. When the league manager is anything but firm and fair.
“Really? You’re going to let that trade go through?”
10. When the league manager changes the scoring style two weeks into the regular season.
“That’s weird, before the change I was undefeated, and now I’m 0-2.”
9. When the winner of the league has to go collect the winnings from every person who didn’t pay.
“Everyone over there owes me money.”
8. When the official player projections are way off but you listened to them anyway.
7. When you rejected a trade that you definitely should have accepted.
“Still interested?” “NO!”
6. When you drop a player who ends up having a breakout season.
“There are big mistakes and little mistakes. That was a big mistake.”
5. Losing to a rival by a fraction of a point.
“If I didn’t just lose 155 to 155.5, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.”
4. Having to reject 9 out of 10 trade offers.
“No, I don’t want four unproductive players for Lebron James.”
3. Waking up early to claim a player off the waivers, only to find someone else got there first.
“Close. Sort of.”
“Season ending injury? Par for the course.”
- President Trump has given House Republicans an ultimatum: Pass their health care bill Friday or he will move on to other issues.
- FBI agents posed as filmmakers to talk to armed militia during a standoff in Nevada, then used the footage against two men on trial in federal court.
- The suspect in the London terror attack near Parliament, who was killed by police, has been identified as 52-year-old Khalid Masood.
- A lawsuit has been filed against a renowned UC Berkeley professor who allegedly sexually harassed and assaulted a former student and employee.